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i climb into the car,
leave my seat belt unbuckled.
see,
i've learned that what makes you feel safe
rarely ever does.
as i fell on the ground with a dull thud, listening to the cracking of my bones, did you really have to pretend?
you pretended to love me, you pretended..
i allowed myself to be intrigued by the lies that slipped from the beautiful  place that is your lips..
you made me feel so powerful and now i feel... nothing!
because you lied & you had no idea what you were doing to me..
as i dug deep into my skin with a razor so sharp that it could **** a man, i thought of you and all of the things you said to me.
you destroyed me.
i had forgotten about you but you've somehow managed to escape from the oubliette.
is there a lover that i can run to for cwtsh?
NO THERE ISNT.. so what am i to ******* do to escape this horrible feeling? this mess that you made of me, how do you expect anyone on God's green earth to be able to clean it up? to be able to love me without question? you were selfish, i would've never done this to you.. but i should have, you were undeserving of my love, undeserving of a Queen and i hope any trace of happiness in your life crashes & burns.. i hope any bond that you try to create dies a slow.. horrific death dear.
just something i was feeling.. i never stopped typing once to think of things to say.. sadly
The sound of death
Can Heaven be heard, Above the clouds, Do the angels make a sound? Imagine celestial music, Riding on the waves of the Atlantic, While fate orchestrates life, And all of its movements, Maybe we could catch a whisper, Listening at the top of a mountain, Would the wind tease our ears, Condemning our intentions, We could dance to it,  On the shoreline, Searching for truth in our distorted reflections, Our eyes greedily seeking perfection, Could we pretend that we had heard, The most beautiful notes, And not be punished for lying, Would there be any reward in trying? Could our hearts do justice to the love, That would surely be carried within the notes from above, Without attempting to claim it as our own, And forging human lyrics upon the song, Would our audience ruin the sincerity, Of something made of purity, And all the blessings be gone? Or do we chance the wait of death to meet our souls, And hope that what awaits, Is not instead, The howling of Hell.
Copyright Jasmin Amber Starr 2015
is it cold without my love to wrap around yourself?
spiders crawl through holes
in my skin.
i spray repellents, but
they still get in.
skating patterns below my flesh-
so very thin.
leaving residual paths of terror,
i can't tell where they're going.
but i itch, scratch, tear at where they've been.
the unidentifiable rhyming pattern of this poem is supposed to resemble the frantic feeling of depression/anxiety. its always the same things, but you can't control your fear or the outcome.
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