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How can I make you see me that i'm not
Really a *******, though it feels that
Way in my heart? I try really hard to please
You but haven't done so yet, whatever i've
Said and done to deserve your evil stare
I'm sorry, what can I do to set matters
Right? Even though I tend to be really
Selfish at times, I do care about you.
I don't mean to be such an *******,
Life has been really ******* me or I've
Made life really hard for myself. Either
Way i'm trying to make life beautiful
Again, you know, when we were kids
And everything seemed such an
Adventure, until life came along and
Cut us down. It was such a mystery back
Then, full of hope and faith, love came
Ten folds and the sun seemed to shine
All day long. What happened to us as we
Grew older? so much baggage we have
With this Relationship that I can't take it
Anymore. Will it ever be right? I don't
Know but if I don't ever change my
Attitude nothing will change and life
Will always remain the same. Why
Don't you Join me in the journey?
Chaos all around me
No peace to be found
My mind is racing
Suicide looking good
Nothing to lift me up
No one around
I try to make things right
But I haven't got very far
Nor am I close in sight
Just wishing upon a ******* star
I feel the weight
**** weighing me down
I want to hate
No one is around
I want to leave this place
Fly away to a secured island
But I can't feel my face
All there ever was
Was my ****** up sin
I don't claim to know the answers
In all honesty, I don't know ****
I feel, I believe, I have hope
Is that all I really need to know?
I can't give a, "Hell yea!"
It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
It seems like there has to be more
But it's the only thing I have for now

Maybe that will change, who's to say
I try to make the most of the day
I get out of life of what I put into it
It seems like I've taken so much
And that's why I'm feeling stuck
Karma has it's way to unfold
And if I keep ******* up there will
be nothing left of me, just hollowness
And that's not where I want to be
You talked to me about caring
How I could ever not be broken?
It doesn't register in your mind
Fixed ideas of how I should live
What kind of person would you have me be
I'm just the monster inside your head
I'll never be free, getting along with you
Just as long as you keep me down

You think you're so much better
So much wiser than anyone else
You're as ugly as I am
Your true colors showing yourself
Your life is as ****** as mine
No reason to carry on
I'll never try again to shine
To make you feel alright
I'm done with you this time
Love.

Why is everyone concerned about it?

Does it make you feel good writing about it?

All the ones that's been in your life,
The ones who are important to you,
The ones that make your stomach quiver,
And then are gone like it was a dream.

A dream.

You awake to new perspectives,
Like these loves had a way to teach.
But really it isn't love at all,
Just a feeling.

Who's to say what you're feeling,
Is is compassion or is it admiration?
Just another stumbling block,
Take that love and shuv it!

I can care ******* less about your love,
Too many ******* people don't know what it is.
I can care ******* less who's beside you in bed,
Can't you ******* write anything worth while?

Talk about anything ******* else than his lips,
Talk about anything else than her heart.
Who ******* gives a good gooddamn?
Waste my ******* time reading your ******* ****!

I don't ******* understand,
Why anyone would persue love?
I, myself, choose death,
The black dharma of the night.

Here comes the pain,
And ******* love had nothing to do with it

So keep writing about love,
You'll get it sooner or later.

Unless the boogieman gets you first!
Searching for the truth
the answer to my soul
what kind of man am I
when life takes it's toll?
I see in the distance
that my life hasn't been my life
always seeking pleasure
something to cure the pain inside
I'm not comfortable in my own skin
wondering who to please this time around
how much I want this to be the end
the water is too deep, I might drown
Living with the heartache
the pain inside won't cease
wondering what's at stake
Living with this disease
The darkness will not let go of me
and let me live my life
Hell is the only thing I can see
killing everything good from the inside
Forever hungry for knowledge
Spiritual guidance I seek
Making a religion out of nothing
Trying hard to stay meek

Searching for the key
The answers are above
Holding onto what I believe
Knocking on doors with love
Who gives a flying ****
What you think about me?
No one is paying my bills
And helping me live my life
I  appreciate the suggestions
But there ain't no sacrifice
Only I can live my life
And you live yours
Oh, by the way
If you are that much interested
Throw some money my way
I can surely need it
But don't expect to get it back
I've taken hard knocks to learn
Not to give out money
So you should hold onto it
And let me live my ******* life
While you snub me
And act like you're so much better
That's okay
Cause karma will have the last laugh
It's strange.
So ******* weird.
I'm 43 years old
And am still getting bullied
People are ****** up
Especially my neighbor's upstairs
They have three kids
There are three adults
And all of them live in a one bedroom apartment
There is so much ******* noise it's not even funny
No one can make that much noise on accident
I understand kids will be kids
But there's stomping on the floor done on purpose
I went to her first and asked for them to tone it down
She gave me attitude and told me she has a freakin' one year old
Then I went to the landlord and the noise got worse
I called the cops on them and the noise diffently got worse
So I have to bend over and take it up the ******* ***
Why they ******* care I'm living down here and they're trying
To get my goat and make my life miserable
But the joke is on ******* them
For the most part I look the other way
They think it really bothers me, they are mistaken
I have dealt with ******* like these throughout my life
They're not ******* happy unless they make others unhappy
They're trying to get a rise out of me and I'm through with them
They can make all the noise they want
Their not my problem. They're so ******* pathetic it's funny
Maybe they want my apartment, I don't know
Or maybe they're just so ******* miserable they can't find
Anything constructive other than causing trouble
So I say **** them. They're nothing but dooshbags
And I laugh at ******* dooshbags.
You have a right to your opinion
That's what being free
But I also can say *******
Get a ******* life
And leave me ******* be
Frustrated, life seems out of balance
Or is it me, walking on tip-toes,
Trying hard to forget the past
And make the future stand for
Something. But I get lost in the woods,
Branches come out to greet me and smack
Me in the face, arms and then my nuts.
Am I going in the wrong direction? It
Must be because the darkness hovers
Over me and I can't see the beauty out
From the woods. Lost. Seeking guidance
Through praying but answers haven't come.
What do I do now? Do I stay or go? The
Answer has always been from within my
Gut, just too scared to make the leap of faith.
I must go. Where ever the path leads me.
I can't see clearly now,
my eyes have blinders on.
I tried loving you,
but expectations got in the way.
I expected so much out of you,
you expected so much out of me,
how the hell can we be together-
when the front door is looking pretty good.

You've said your peace,
letting me know your love came piece by piece,
there was always something to disagree,
and you made me feel alone in this relationship.
You wanted to change me to fit your own selfish needs,
all it seemed like you cared about was to get high.
All  I ever wanted was a little honesty,
but you wouldn't open up to me and share.

I tried being your friend,
but you wouldn't let me in,
and I get so upset for the way I cared.

I can see clearly now,
you never loved me the way I loved you.
There was always a stipulation-
for the way you felt about me.
Sorry, but now I have to leave-
only to save my sanity.
Why do I say the things I do, I seem to hurt so many people, especially my family and friends? They want the best of me and I choose so many things that aren't good . They want me to do the best in life but I have turned my back on them so many times, gone in a direction they never wanted me to go in the first place. Why am I such a fool? I can't seem to get on track, what the hell is holding me back? I'll look into the mirror, visualize there is a better road to go down, not the path I seem to always turn to- The ******* life. I'll tear down these walls and let others in before I end up dead and never say thank you to all the ones who have helped me along this road
That I am on. I don't want to fall victim to the idea that I can never change and all will be well. What kind of person would I be if I never said, "I love you."  just watched the days pass by without a word of compassion and kindness, not letting others know how much they mean to me, before all have given up on me and I'm left alone?
The blood is what I'm after
To watch myself bleed
Scars don't mean anything
It's as perfect as can be

Fighting the urge
To keep on cutting
Here I go again to purge
Killing my soul with every word

Telling myself I ain't worth recovery
That no one feels like I do
The pain is all I see
The temptation is for real
The obsession takes a hold of me
It is a huge deal
But I just let it drip anyway
Let the blood flow
Let it flow out of me
It's hard enough to live
Without jumping from this bridge
Call it an original sin
One that can't be taken away
But sometimes the thought crosses my mind
And I wish for the ******* end
Though I know I have a purpose
Or I wouldn't still be here
I have tried to commit the act
Through other ways
But I have survived only by God's grace
Why I'm not really certain
I guess I'm not too much of a loser
And just have got lucky in that respect
There is a wall I have built
That a certain amount of people get in
Maybe I should open up this wall some more
And let a variety of people get to know me
That is if they would want to
And if not that's okay too
I won't try to judge this go around
I hope I won't get judged back
But if so that's okay too
I'm still just a freak
Freaking out half the time
I just don't want to lose my life
For stupidity anymore
It's better to let the darkness go
I have watched myself slowly decay
It burns inside of me to recognize the hurt
Trying so hard to make it pass a day
And toss the struggles back into the earth
I have tormented myself for years
Wondering why I am the way I am
Some things make sense, others aren't clear
Am I doing the best I can
Some days it isn't that hard
Other days I just want to die
I know when I have taken it too far
And the flames inward explodes my life
I run to quelch the toxicity in my head
But I am the one who has put it there
Moreover, I'll be the one ending up dead
If I no longer care
I must find the power to cultivate my existence
But how do I make it take form
Sometimes life doesn't make sense
It's been that way since I've been born
Heaven knows I haven't done life right
But thank God he doesn't take score
I hope in the sunshine, deny the darkness at night
open up my mind like opening a door
And let the demons out
There once was a child
He heard the sound of the smack
On his **** and felt the stinging pain
He got a bad impression of his aunt
As soon after he felt the pain
From then on he stayed away
As much as he could from her
In hindsight, after years of reflection
It wasn't her place to do that
The grown man and the boy inside
Never got to know his aunt, truly know
What kind of person she was because
He held a grudge all those many years
And this anger has fostered love
She can never undo that act
And he can never get those years
Of hating her back
Peace searches for the one who tries to find it;
radical thoughts triumphantly plaguing the
mirror's glare, not comprehending the circle
of fiends beguiled by the heart's stare, longing
for  standards to uproot the consciousness and
let go the busyness of the times.
You asked me to love you
It was that look in your eyes
It told of a shattered existence
Lonely and afraid
Oh, how I knew the way you felt
I felt the same not too long ago
It was lust at first sight
But once that was over with
We didn't have much in common
Life took on a new meaning once
Our daughter was born
I had to pull up my pants
And become a man quickly
But I failed utterly
Nothing I did seemed right
You knew all the answers
And God forbid I spoke my peace
Years collided with one another
And I blinked and our daughter was three
Even after years of being together
You never gave me much credit
So love faded
And I became ill with contempt
Resentment
And anger
Not a pretty picture for our daughter
I just wish I was in love with you
But unfortunately I don't think I ever was
You moved your things in
Never asked me if you could stay
Just assumed everything would be okay
And you would live your life forever with me
I made you feel comfortable
As comfortable as can be
We made passionate love
Hot
And heavy
Steamy
Sticky
Love
But
I was no where near a commitment
You seemed like you didn't care
Then you got pregnant
Two fools who were unaware
Things changes
I have changed
You seem like you're staying the same
Demanding
Controlling
*****
Trying to tell me where to **** in the woods
I don't think it will ever work out
Between us
So I must let you go
I've kicked you out three times
Each time accepting you back
Because of some ungodly reason
Each time I felt sick
Because I knew deep in my heart
That I really didn't love you
Now this last time we're threw
No more games
I have to let you go
Relationships? If anyone knows what's going on with them, please let me know.
It wasn't what I wanted to take a look at,
There is fear behind the mask, the walls-
I have built up so you don't see the real me.
I seem to take a breath, something I'm not-
In control of,  my spirit rising up ever so-
Higher, ever so lower, the fire burns ever-
So painfully, and I faint by the wayside.

Life came like a tornado, destroying everything
In my path, leaving behind only my naked body-
To take care of the burns. I was lonely once,
Feeling frightened by seeing your face. I reached-
Out to you but there was only silence, a whisper-
In the dark, trying to find my way but I can't see-
The road. I was reaching for something but finding-
Nothing, only death and the fires of hell.
The horizon draws near
a season drinking in the glory of innocence
Perfection seems over-rated
holiness lost in a dream
where is it stated
everything is the way it seems?
There is emptiness deep in the soul
a hollow feeling that won't go away
dealing with which way to go
The madness finds a home
the direction is just a blank slate
starting over once again
wanting to be forever alone
but life has other plans
Life is killing me,
So softly,
Sweetly,
One more day is a nail in my coffin.
I'll treasure that day,
The moment they close the lid,
And I am no more,
Just bones and organs.
It is up to you
If you want to be happy
I know things are tough
And it's hard to see
That at times you make
The decision of how you feel

I've been down that road
Undecided of which way to go
And then the heavens opened
Up to me and I was able to
Understand that most of the
Time I take myself too seriously

I needed just to laugh, even though
It was hard for me at the time
I closed my eyes and let myself
Go and sure enough a burst of
Merriment came across me
Oh, how I felt so much better
Life is too short without any giggles
My fault is I'm alive
In a world that doesn't make sense
Too much anger aimed at "who?"
Too much violence
I can be evil, it doesn't take much brains
All the while watching the world burn up in flames
I can be happy about it, it doesn't mean much to me
What the hell are we fighting for if it's not peace?
Running away from this avenue
All because I'm afraid to
Terror has me clutched in it's grip
Holding tightly around my neck
No positives, just negatives I see
except this gun I hold around my waist
I feel secure, so does my family
I'll **** you in a blink of an eye
If you try to come between us and our home
Am I evil for protecting what's right
Or is there much more to the story?
The one where I give out love with my hand gun
Like it ever came down that I cared
I care who I place first in my life
And right now you aren't in it
Call me mean or a hypocrite
I really don't mind
But for now it's about saving lives
I feel everyone should carry
It would be like the old west
A lot more people would think twice
Of who to **** with
I've been a slave to your misery
So many things I want say to you
I hope you can see it's not that bad
But whatever I say isn't getting through
You have a roof over your head
And food to eat, you can pull down
Your pants and take a **** in peace
You have toilet paper to wipe your ***
Little things exactly like that.
Walking outside and feel a warm breeze
The sensation allows you to be
A part of the air
Seeing birds flying high upstairs
Touching the heavens with their wings
Knowing these moments won't come back
Little things exactly like that
Sitting down and looking at the raging river
Flowing from side to the other
Fish jumping and splashing around
Everything is on track
Little things exactly like that
Holding your daughter's hand
Soaking in the beauty on her face
The smile that comes across her lips
That everything feels at place
Knowing peace is so elusive
But right now there it is
Taking a hold of you
And making little more things
To be thankful for
Self sabotage, what a mess
I keep doing this to myself
How can reality just be
When I keep hurting myself?
I take leaps of faith
Only to make them come
Crashing down
I try to make it right
But reality only slips through
My hands
temptation takes over
And I drink again
What the **** am I doing?
I want a good life
But the darkness grabs a hold
And throws me for a loop
Into the depth of despair
I come crawling out
How much more grace
Will the Universe give me?
It seems I take it for granted
And just leave my tracks
In the dust
Yes, I was here
Now you have to clean
Up my mess
What the **** am I doing?
I can't seem to get ahead
Maybe it's the fact I think
I am separate from everyone
When actually we're all the same
Our heartbeat's by the same power
So it's very important not to sabotage
My life anymore
Rather take hold of this Power
And let reality just be
Inside I'm weary
tired of all the *******
I can't see clearly
A lot of things don't makes sense

Why do I have to ******* complain?
It would be easier for me to shut my mouth
Is it me going ******* insane
Or the world trying to stop my mouth?

So much misery out there
I have it good to think about it
Do people really care
Or is it a sign to **** the innocent?

I struggle with happiness
I want it all from the start
Doesn't everyone deserves it
Or is it just a role to play the part

The day crashes over me
And I stare into the sun
I clearly can see
What I have become

It doesn't take a rocket scientist
To see I'm alone with my thoughts
Trying hard to expel the darkness
I've went through rounds when I fought

My life has become a blank slate
All I have is words on my mind
I have wondered how well I rate
But looking back I've lost ******* time
He wasn't at all amused
you trying to steal away his day
Bringing negativity to his plate
he turned and walked away

He wanted to see smiles
but all he got was frowns
He contemplated his relationships
and decided to turn you down

No more of the dark interiors
the ones having no fun in life
He adjust his friendships
and leaves behind the ones
who aren't worth his time
I get this feeling on my brain
That I'm swimming out to sea
I'm all disoriented and such
I've felt this feeling time and time again
It will disappear for a time and then
Come back with a vengeance
I tend to forget about it and then
It will show its ugly face
Scare me and scare me some more
As it feels like its never going to go away
I pray and I pray some more
Just wanting an answer why it's here
I pray to whomever that will listen
I plead and I will plead some more
But nothing happens and I am lost
Maybe this feeling I have wants me lost
And confused, forever trying to figure
Things out. I'm so trying to figure this
One out and where it ties into my life.
My taste buds are dying
As I try to feed my palate
Nothing is freeing my eyesight
I'm as blind as can be
So hellish from my dreams

From the North comes a storm
The lightning is striking out in the distance
The thunder banging loud like drums
And there still isn't a sign of you coming home

I can't feel you anymore
My touch has gone to waste
I am perplexed
I grab hold in haste

Deafening sounds fill my ears
The silence is so hard to break
I'm not sure what is clear
I am lost for words
everything was at stake
But now all is flashing goodbye
Like the lightning in the sky
The sound of laughter no more
Like the sound of thunder
Once there
Then fading as I close this door
So many people talk about love
Do they really know what it is?
I feel I'll leave that feeling up to God
He's bigger than my corrupted heart

I loved once a long time ago
We were young and full of *****
But things changed like they always do
But get me to understand that
Hell is like a pit
A bottomless pit
No where to hit bottom
Losing all senses
Going under
Going down
Feel the air
As you fall from  grace
And your eyeballs pop from  your sockets
The day seem like forever
Forever holding your hand
I don't want to let go
I might lose you in the wind
I shall forever be searching for you
Are you out there my beautiful friend?
We are like shooting stars in the sky
We make a wish and are surprised
That it does come true in time
How can two souls relate
When it seems like we are doomed
Trying hard to discuss the problem in a healthy way
Instead of flying off the handle
There seems like a force keeping us together
Or I would of been alone ages ago
And finding you would of never been in the picture
Searching for the truth,
A man is ****** and timid.
A woman strong and sweet,
Like the scent of a rose;
We hold hands, poised effortlessly
Together we will find common ground,
If only we stay connected to our Source
Does it matter who wins the battle,
The war has gone on for way too long?
Each one bellowing to one another
Who's right? Who's wrong?
The day lingers on and on,
The sun sadly offers it's warmth.
The heartaches are futile,
No giving of one self, no longing
It matters nothing about status quo,
But all is better when love enters in,
And quelch the flames burning inside.
The truth gets lost in the wind
like a leaf caught in a breeze
flying around and not touching ground
until the wind stops blowing
Sincerity seems like nothing anymore
or was it ever something in our hearts?
Respect comes and goes as we open a door
and the beauty of love gets lost from the start
The time has come,
to find a better way,
don't want to feel undone,
don't want to run away.

It's been a life of beautiful experiences,
a life full of chaos and fears,
so many difficult obstacles,
the days has turned into years.

Finding a different course to take,
it has been a road filled with love,
making memories happen everyday,
this is a life dreamed of.
I want to fly away
Fly away deep into the void
A whisper trembling
Out into the chaos
Catch a moment
A glimpse of reality
Learn to parachute
Falling farther down into
MADNESS
I wonder what life is all about...


Do we die and go to a heaven or a hell...?


Do our consciousness moves onward, letting go of our
Bodies when it can't survive no longer and we end up
Becoming gods, ruling over our own earth?

Would it be such hard to imagine...


Do we live in our own heaven or our own earth
Right here and right now, trying hard to make the
Days count for something? Does it really matter?
Wouldn' it be insane if when we died we never
Moved forward and there was just total darkness?

Nothingness...


I find it hard to believe but who really knows,
That's why I try hard to make each day count
It seems to me how ridiculous people are,
they try so very hard to bring me down.
I don't know if they mean well,
or they just do it out of spite.

They talk how much they care,
but they won't lift a finger to help me get around.
Today I'm over their *******, I wish them to hell;
not one soul can save them, not even Christ.

They're the kind of people only a switchblade
looks pretty good, and the decision just to decide.

Slash them, cut them, make them feel pain.
It's all neccessary, make them bleed out like rain.

What is the alternative, not a ******* thing?
I've just gone crazy here, gone ******* insane-

Make them bleed out like ******* rain!
just venting, i do that a lot.
My past mistakes keeps haunting me
It feels like I have to do pentance
I have learned and am moving on
It feels others can't do the same
They want to continue to bring me down
Make me feel like a *******
They hate it when I'm happy
When I'm laughing
They can't stand seeing others in that condition
Where life is working out for that person
They want to see them fail and fall flat on their face
That's just how parts of society is sometimes
I know I don't want no one to fail
To feel miserable, especially kick them while they're down.
I would want a lift so I would try to lift that person or persons. Try to make them smile or something
Make them feel good in my company
That's just me though
Make them feel better
You try to move forward
but moving on is hard to do
You want what's best
but it's hard to break through
find your ninche
make it right this time
find true happiness
and live a better life

The days aren't numbered anymore
hope is giving you the right direction
You seek what's behind these doors
and welcome others' affection
to open up and share what's beautiful
make these days shine
find true happiness
and make a better life

You want to stay sober this time
knowing all hell breaks loose when  you don't
You want your life to be bright
and it will happen if you let it
Apply yourself to life
instead of taking a back seat
Let your world shine
to get up off your feet
and put actions behind your words

You put action behind your words
and life becomes better for you
In the midst of an emotional storm
Keep on keeping on
Rise above the depression
And give way to positive thoughts
Like giving hugs to a son or daughter
Making the day count for something
Even if it's just a little bit
Like knowing we have breath
I wear a hundred masks in a day
A mask to hide my ill-feelings about myself
Wishing I could turn into someone else
Like the day turns into night and all
Isn't okay with the mirror I look into
Is there anyway to hide my face?
I'll pretend not to show you who I am
Maybe you'll like me better
I truly have worn a hundred masks just to get others to like me.
Let me have my two pots
Of coffee in the morning
And a pack of smokes
Before you start with the hugging
What the ****?
Are you that needy
Always need my attention
Can't live without it
You always had to say
"I love you."
That was nice to hear
But not every ******' five minutes
Rub your back?
Your back always needed rubbed
Rub a dub dub
Can't take a bath in my own ******' tub
Without you up my ***
I couldn't sit on the toilet
Without you bothering me
Wanting to know what I wanted for supper
Christ, food was far from my mind
I was just trying to push out this
**** at this time
I felt so ******' smothered
The only peace I got was going for a walk
To check the mail
And even then you was calling me
Wanting to know what I would like for supper
Food? What the ****?
I like it as the next man
But it seemed like you wanted me fat
I don't know about this crap
Figure it out your own **** self
I'm not hungry
I said I'm not ******' hungry!
That was the bright spot of the day
There was no communication in any way
That's why I'm leaving today
I hope you don't get mad
As a couple it was pretty sad
Maybe it will be better
Separate from one another
I don't know
But I have to let you go
Send me down to the pit of despair
I wish I didn't have to go there
Through the thorns of agony and pain
Once again I've caused my own misery today
Why are you so upset with me
Is it something I said or did
It seems like I put my foot in my mouth
Everyday like I don't even care
But I do care and want you to be happy
I want the very best for you
Our love seems like it is fading
I don't understand it anymore
It was once like a mountain breeze
Strong and not taken lightly
Now as years has gone by
It seems like raindrops in our head
Always a storm brewing within our home
I don't want it to end this way
But if I have to go then I will
I don't want you to be miserable anymore
And it seems like the sight of me puts you on edge
Where did our love for each other go
Has it just faded into the night sky
Darkness taking over our very being
And we can't find nothing to agree upon
We struggle to make it another day
I surely don't want it to end this way
But if I gave to leave to make you happy then I will
But my eyes will be filled with a lot of tears
And as I take my last step out of our home
I'll shall forever be missing you
Drifting by the shore's imaginations
Little creatures crawling into fascination
By the heart of all creation
Monarchs of time's evaluation

Sacred lands at the bottom of the sea
Tiny organisms whisking by endlessly
The darkness fighting with the light's dreams
No where to go but forever and  a day deep
The darkness can't smother me
I won't turn out into the monster
I know I can be.  So much darkness
In my soul, I need to break my hold
And fly with the angels.

The monster is in my head
Waiting patiently to explode
For years it has plagued me
Into submission, I need to let
Go and fly with the angels

I look around and see the
Beauty in things, so much is there
The monster deep within can't
Take that away from me

Only if I let it...
My shadow turns and run, I'm left trying to catch up with it. I'm feeling quite shy, out of place, like I don't quite belong with the world outside. I want to hide, bury my face in a pillow, not be bothered with by anyone. I want to feel a part of but where can I go that I can also remain invisible. I'd rather be by myself than take the chance, too much hurt and pain has me at a glance. I try reaching out for help but I'm left by myself, wondering if life is even worth going the extra mile. I hope things are okay but is it worth the while. I feel like I need a doctor, someone to put the pieces together, lock me up so I don't run away, and be indignant of others who were always there for me. There was my family, they tried to help but never really understood me. There were my friends, they thought I was seeking attention which was more of the truth. Society, who liked to make fun and ridicule me. Through it all I came out the other side still confused and losing my mind but it's not so much what I feel inside but what I do about it, trying to forget myself and help someone else out.
Watching things in my life get better
The more guidance I seek after
The more I feel as light as a feather
Maybe a sliver of contentment
It's all good nevertheless
Peace intrudes my wandering ways
Grace has me on my knees today
Thanking the Universe for it's direction
I was on the wrong path before
Causing a lot of chaos and mayhem
Not caring about what was pure
Today, it's not the case anymore
The sun is shining right and sure
Making me realize there's more to life
Than trying to pull one over on someone
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