I saw a women die today
She didn't plan to feel the jolt, she was planning to go home
That last final jolt has to be a feeling, that instant of confusion and pain is almost as scary as the jolt of organs and bones being in the desperately wrong place
I hope she knew before she hit the cold pavement, I hope she knew it was over, I hope she knew she wouldn't beat this one
but she was strong, she had lived a whole life on earth and that's the hardest thing to do

My lungs are trying to climb out of my chest
I can't get high, the smoke poisons me worse than memories
I wipe away the red that sputters out of my mouth, hoping I wake up in the morning
I hope she is at the party, I hope I say a funny joke, I hope I'm not swallowed by silences
I think it is guilt that is trying to pound it's way through my skull, at least I hope it's guilt, anything else would be your fault, and we can't have that
The coldness of that last meal still leaves me shivering, and I can't warm up
Id rather ***** up a lung then hear your voice right now, so please don't call me
My eyes are heavy but I don't wanna sleep alone, come here and sleep on my chest, we can count sheep in the dark.

The heat singes my fingers as the strength leaves my legs
The sweetness hits my nose as I blow worry out of my mouth
I think it's hesitation but it's peace that slows down my hand
Peace is the mini smoke stack that churns stress and life to a smiling cough
I'm not clear but I'd rather be blind then look in my minds eye
I like the discord, the order has grown to heavy to handle

I hope you don't know how much you did for me
I hope you don't know that a laugh and smile made my night
That when your hand found mine after a boot found my head I forgot what put me on the ground
That our dumb little jokes reminded me to not stress
That the look in your eye reminded me to slow down the pace of my mind
That when we shared a smile after being pushed together like my unsteady ocean against your sturdy bluff I felt the sea calm

Clouds and worries
Your home is up in the clouds and my back finally broke, we couldn't stand the stress anymore and it's a long way down
I wasn't tall enough to have my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground
It's a long way down but don't worry, I caught the wings you tossed down and I may be to heavy to fly but I can glide
And Don't worry about the ground it may seem dangerous but I'm still strong
And I like the way the mud feels between my toes and how the grass moves my sole
And don't worry about my back, to make something last it needs to be broken at least once

You have got this far, by some miracle, you have drank and laughed your way through life
But the thing is all you drink is the firriest whiskey and you laugh flames, and almost all your bridges have been burned away
But you still have one, and despite all the gas and searing lies
Your last bridge still stands, it's wrought of the hardest iron and the most cutting guilt
Its held together by the mortar of melted shards of decades of shattered expectations
But here I am, burning and broken, but not breaking

I'm finally beginning to empty, and I feel the pressure lessen like a hose that has drowned your insecurities for too long
I was filled with ideals of grandeur, that I could save you, that my care was the miracle drug, the antibiotic that would save the whole ******* world
But  no drug works forever and I can't fix skyscrapers with my bloodied hands.  But my small, sore hands can clean your windows and sweep your floors
I know that I'm not coward, I can't change everything tomorrow, I can't take away your sorrows and I'm not ******* foolish enough to ask the same
But I'm always here, like a lighthouse  that knows no matter how bright it shines her light everyone won't reach the shore
But all I can do is shine my light