I'm sorry
That I text you
At four a.m.
When
I
Can't
Breathe
Because of
Anxiety attacks.

I'm sorry that
I can't make serious phone calls
Or order at Subway
Around the corner,
Even though I know
I like thinly sliced turkey
And chipotle dressing.

I'm sorry that
I forget things like
Birthdays and middle names
And I'm sorry
That I don't know how to
Kiss.

I'm sorry
That you think
When I don't take a compliment
I'm fishing for you
To keep going,
Because in my rotting skull
That option
Isn't even possible.

I'm sorry.
So sorry.
That if you're
Nice to me
I will never
Ever
Believe you
Actually like me.

2.18 AM

The couple next door are shouting and throwing things, the cries of children can be heard
I'm awake from my uncomfortable sleep

A middle-aged lady is sobbing on the bench, palms over her face
Thinking why is love so cheap

Almost unconscious, the brown eyed girl stares at her wrist on the bathroom floor
Maybe she have cut too deep

The heartbroken freshman stood at the border of a mountain *****
Not caring that it is steep

As her phone lights up, she buries herself in the blanket
Ignoring the beep

2.19 AM

I'm lost in my thoughts, wondering
Why can't people just be happy for a second?

And on her patterned wrist
She scratched
*Please Don't Go

It got so high
Yesterday
That at first
My mom told me that
I just didn't have to do my homework.

99.4

I lay in bed
And cocooned in covers
Because
My skin was warm
But my blood felt like
Liquid polar bear.

99.9

I got bored.

100.3

My mom took my temperature.

101.4

She ran a bath
And the thought
It would be smart
To make it
Feel
Like
Liquid
Polar bear
Again.

102.2

Mom says I hummed.
So she thought I was
Better.
I got out of my
Liquid
Polar
Bear
Tub.

101.7

I climbed back into bed.

102.5

Mom got on a work call.

102.8

I fell asleep.

103.1

My heart rate went down.

103.4

I woke up.

103.6

I

103.7

Couldn't

103.8

Breathe

104.1

104.1

104­.1

But mom was on her work call.