There is a forest old as hillsides
tall, majestic, dappled shades
fall on ground beneath the silent
gnarled defenders of the glade.

There they stand in ancient splendour
many souls have passed their way
often used as welcome shelter
from the heat of summers day.

Sweet the air they breathe in chorus
our life's breath their lungs provide,
soaking up our daily poison
so that we may live and thrive.

You seas of men intent to clear them
citing progress, peddling greed
tearing roots from precious mooring
laying waste to nature's seed.

**** the beauty of a landscape
displace creatures for your need
rupture fragile ecosystems
scar the earth and watch it bleed.

To you I ask a simple question,
as I see the land bereaved.
What need has man of all this progress
when he can no longer breathe?

and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it

~


I try, I swear I try,
but you are always there,
touching my thoughts with wonder,
bringing desires to my mind
on endless wishes
cast upon continuous ripples,
rapidly forming with every breath I take
~
Morning brings the sunrise
in multicolored shades of how I feel
Reaching for that lost love,
floating like indigo butterflies
just beyond my grasp, though
I still want, with every ounce,
every movement, every hope
~
I have been told
I long for what I can not have,
that elusive bloom
at the peak of the arbor,
radiant beauty washing down upon me,
fragrant reminders of a time before,
when your petals gathered at my heart
~
And try as I like it is of no use,
my mind holds you, desperately dreaming
in echoed whispers and twilight shadows
which never seem to end
For as long as there are butterflies,
honeysuckle breezes and poetry...
*there will be you

I want to let it all out
Someone hold me
Wipe my tears
Bring sweet solace
It's wasn't me!

Hold myself above
Look to those above
Angels weep
Rally against my fear
Protect me, safe

It'll be ok,
Words they all say
I can't get through this
The years just weigh
Breaking me slowly

I think all about
Betrayal and trust
How it undermined myself
Sense of worth,
How I have to see myself

In the shower I cry
Maybe tears can help
But it'd be nothing
Salty water mixing away
It wouldn't make me clean

I wish for love
Not just ache
Bring me home
So long ago
Make me whole