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i s a b e l l a Jul 2016
I need to be alone to help myself,
but being alone hurts me.
Depression isn't when you know
That everything around you
Is going wrong
and you feel sad,
Depression is when you know
That everything around you
Is going right
And you still feel you sad.
i s a b e l l a Jun 2016
i am the ocean
constantly flowing and ebbing,
from high to low
deep to shallow.
I can keep things afloat
yet drown them till they break
under my pressure.
i am the ocean.
beautiful
yet
deadly.
i s a b e l l a May 2016
Dear Fear,
You are a giant that sits on my shoulders
and you always bring a heavy fog with you;
and I don’t understand
how something that’s invisible
could weigh me down so much.
When you’re around,
my thoughts dissipate
except for the most urgent ones
telling me why I can’t do xyz.
I’m a tea kettle,
bubbling and boiling
and screaming at the top of my lungs
yet no one is around to take me off the stove.
Most of the time,
I don’t need your hover,
yet I need you to push me forward
on to a stage,
on to say what needs to be said,
on to live a life
that’s filled with
hope…


Dear Hope,
You are the catalyst
that kickstarts an endless marathon
of daydreams;
you’ve toppled my fears
over the edge of the sky
to offer me a clear day;
and you’ve showed me
how I need to believe in myself.
You’re in every word I write,
every syllable I say,
and every move I make.
You unwrapped fear
and inside the envelope
was a reflection
of your spirit.
You also shared with me
that none of this would’ve been possible
without the presence
of fear…


P.S.
I’ve looked fear and hope in the eyes
and they both share
the same face.
i s a b e l l a Apr 2016
Do you know the feeling
of sitting in a hospital room
waiting to hear what's wrong with you?
Do you know the feeling
of getting on stage
to talk in front of everyone?
Do you know the feeling
of almost getting in a car accident?
That's what anxiety feels like.
i s a b e l l a Apr 2016
will google ever give me the answer
to if I'm really in love with you?
i s a b e l l a Mar 2016
~
Broken glass shards poke out from healthy hearts;
Reopening wounds you assumed closed up.
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.

Overthink and make your mind want to dart;
Keeping thoughts hidden in a tight lockup.
Mornings are brand new, refresh and restart.

Always to blame but never question art;
It takes time to find a way to buildup.
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.

Positivity, easy to kick start;
Negativity, easy to blow up.
Mornings are brand new, refresh and restart.

Back to a place you thought you had depart;
Yourself will come back to fill up your cup.
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.

May be lost, but you are not a spare part;
Darkness just crawls back for a quick checkup
Okay, okay, it’s fine to fall apart.
Mornings are brand new, refresh and restart.
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