And although it hurt,
I didn't know everything.
Had I known just how bad,
I don't think I'd have been as sad.
Because I didn't know
That you needed me
That you missed me
That you were in pain
That you were abused
That you were used
That she would hurt you
And throw you off a car,
That she would refuse
To take you to the hospital
That you would have a scar on your side
That will be there for forever.
That she would shoot you up
And make you her slave
That you would cry all night
And even all day.
That she would say "I love you"
But you knew it wasn't the truth.
That your family would ask
"Do you remember me?"
And I would say I do
That you could go to rehab and then you'd be clean.
That you never even wanted to leave me
That she forced you to say goodbye
That you knew I would still be there
Without an explanation why.
That she'd scream and yell and hit you
At the mention of my name.
That someone thought they'd play you
Like they play a ******* game.

Are you hitting on me right now?
While we're stuck in here together.
Are you really gonna do that?
Are you hitting on me right now?
It's kinda funny,
I know you're joking.
But it's kinda funny,
Are you?
Don't you dare,
You're ridiculous and not funny.

Wish I could say I'm not,
Wish I could say I wasn't,
Wish I could say that it never had that effect on me,
But I'd be lying, wouldn't I?
I'm just an addict to you and everyone else,
If they only knew what it was like to be addicted to you.

Cheap tattoo gun
"Will you be my canvas?"
Never your fault,
It's never your fault?
Always what's done and never what you do
I don't know if I want that tattoo.
What happened to your cars
Is that their fault as well?
Matching Grand Prix
Red, white, white, red
Two 'kickass' Nissan Maximas
And a five speed Dodge Neon that's falling apart.
What happens to plans when you cancel last minute,
How come it is that you never make time?
Work, work, work,
And then you're always late.
She told me to fix it or we couldn't date.
You need to be on time, is that too much to ask?
But whenever I do, I just feel like an ***.
I feel so terrible when I get upset
But I know I have the right and I know that I'm allowed.
I get so ******* when they complain that we're too loud
As if they have to listen
As If I really care.
As if they have no choice but to stay there.
The other day, he said you spanked me
But more of the time,
It just feels like you yank me
In different directions, so many directions,
Angry, sad, sadder, happy.
It feels like I don't know what to do and it feels like neither do you
It feels like we don't know each other, but am I lying to myself,
Do I only love the thought of you?

You are estranged to me
And you are more a stranger now
Than you were before I knew you.
I can't touch you anymore,
Even though I am always reaching out,
And I am always trying to grasp and take a hold of you to catch you.
I have always wanted to catch you when you fall.  
I have always wanted to to hold you when you cry.
But I don't even know who you are anymore.
Everything I thought I knew,
Well I guess it was a lie.
Because I took a few steps into your life
And I thought we were okay.
I knew I loved you, I thought you loved me.
I thought that I was helping you,
At least, I hoped that I was helping.
I hoped that I could be there for you.
I hoped that I could get you through the hard times.
I thought it was possible.
I thought I knew you.

I've got blood on my hands now
And I don't know who it's from.
I've spent so much time ripping heads off
But I tore out my heart,
What about you?
I'm so angry I never realized that you heart was torn out too.
It's really so weird,
Thinking that life goes on.
When you and my heartbeat were the only things that told me I was alive.
Where did everything go wrong?
And it makes me feel stuck, the fact that I'm so numb.
Shouldn't I feel more?