Why is it that when you finally get what you want
You suddenly don't want it anymore?

Kills you mentally
Your no longer the person you use to be
It's like someone new has a residence inside of you,
Yeah your stronger, but that new strength is what's blocking you away from the world


What Doesnt **** You ,
Scars you for life
The vicious memories are bunches of blocks in your head,
visions that you will not release,
Pain that you will forever indure


What Doesn't  **** You
Should have killed you,
Because now you cheated death, and now death is what you've become.

Sorry for those nights when your eyes cried and you couldn't think of one reason to smile
You didn't deserve to be left alone with your thoughts which were attacking your conscious and making your insides bleed  
The feeling of fire burning in your veins is from that last conversation you had with the love of your life
And I'm sorry that you can't forget any of the details of what you've been through but your life is not over, you can not give up.

He didn't understand why I liked storms
But what he never realized is that
Everytime he left me
I felt like one

Your quiet but your mind is loud
Soaking up every little thing you hear or see
Studying and carefully concentrating on the creatures
The creatures functioning around you
Your the one that hides out in the big parties
Taking up the wonderful space in the corner
Taking photograpic memories of everyone in the room
Laughing drinking and forgetting there problems
You watch
And you silently wish that was you


But you have no idea
That being different is the best thing you can be
And you should feel bad for them
Cause they're not different
In fact they're all the same

I could describe my heartbreaks in the most saddest way
But most of all in my eyes they were black and white in slow motion
A trance of darkness
Drowning in it deeper than any love I've ever witnessed
And the only question swirling in the back of mind was could I ever love again?

Brain

Could you give me a **** break?
Your always running and scared
Why the hell are you so scared?
And sad? What did the insane world do to you that made you so closed off yet powered on?

Heart

Your sneaky I can't trust you
You make me love to easily
Do you remember my neighbors?
The sons? I've never even had a conversation with them all they do is stare at me all the time and you have me thinking they feel much more.
Leave me be please. With true emotions.


People

Stop hurting me. I know you don't care but your just making me hate the world even more, "your pushing me so further into the dark that I'm starting to see tunnels, and people who live there."

You all say that I am very close to my deliverance

But I feel as though I am farther then ever before.

Yearning for the night I can roll over and find your lips instead of a lousy text message
Or when I have a bad dream and your right next to me to wake me and tell me that i was dreaming so let's go make some coffee and you can tell me all about it

You all inspire me to write and you excite me with your creative minds
But when my excited fingers reach my keyboard
I think of nothing to write about
The feeling is nothing but depressing.

A heartbreaker is something you swore
you'd never be
But what would you do
if I told you That a heartbreaker
is exactly
what you've become?

The fact that you feel so utterly and painfully alone, Having flashbacks and vivid dreams of what use to be

but what use to be isnt your reality so its hard to face it.
Its so hard to come to terms with the fact that you need him but he doesnt need you

You made the mistake of making him your world and loving him more then you love yourself




To Be Continued. . .

I couldn't find any candy or fruit that
Tastes sweeter than your lips.

What is love?

People have made me so uncomfortable in society. They say be yourself but if they don't like it they'll say "Not Like That."

Your lips are my pain reliever.

" Hungry fingertips anxious to feel even an inch of your soft skin "

Still wanna know why they were strong enough to stay in high school and I wasn't...

The moment you let people's opinions about you hurt your feelings
Just know that your giving them full control over you and the way you feel about yourself.

I'D Rather Feel Pain Then Nothing At All .

I've taken my time and thought
about relationships
My past mistakes and my future goals
I put my old relationships and old feelings in a box
I burned it to ashes and wished it away
I didn't know what to do
I was lost until I finally came to the conclusion that I just Need someone who needs me.

Things I learned about being in love:

If Its Real,

It wont Ever go away Darling.

My feelings change faster then the days go by

The worst part about break ups

Seeing them do the same things they use to do with you , with someone else.

Or maybe I loved him because I was at my worst and he still thought I was perfect.

You should only fear things you do not know.

I'm running out of pain pills for my headaches
Im getting less upset that you don't want me
The pain I felt is now numb
And it seems the rain doesn't effect my outlook anymore
Either way I'm colder than I was before
My skin doesn't warm up at the sound of your voice anymore
Things around me are quickly changing
But I'm still intact with my feelings

I don't know maybe it was the way you smiled at me everytime our bodies brushed one another's when we would walk side by side
Or maybe it fascinated me how much
You loved every single thing I did
And how much you inspired me to be better
Or maybe just maybe it was the fact that when every single thing seemed wrong in my life
You would figure out a way to flip every situation and make it feel right
                   And for that
I Love You

Forgive me for I have loved so many
I forgot the most important
Which was myself.

Wish I could make you feel my pain.

Its that time again
That time of  night when you cant sleep
Your mind running a mile a minute
Its filled with millions of thoughts
You've got to release
Your heart and brain are working together creating
Different ways for you to let go of these feelings with
Words
And thats how us
The poets are created

Nothing saddens me more than
Knowing that our love was so
Weak
That you went to go get what I have
From another girl

You mean nothing and everything to me.

To Have bones in your body...


                                  Tonsils in your throat,


Teeth in your mouth,


          
                                         Taste buds on your tongue,



A heart beating in your chest





And still manage to feel unbearably empty?

It's that feeling you get when you don't exactly know what your feelings

If I don't get that Rush when you kiss me
If the butterflies don't come when your around...
Then does that mean your not the one?

I lay in bed at night thinking ...

And thinking

Thinking

Thinking and thinking

And ****

I think to much.

We swam to the bottom of the ocean
To find beauty
But all we found was                       Darkness

Don't fall in love with him.

While sitting in my room
Only watching tv shows
I've come to the realization that they
All had the same subliminal message
they showed me that some of the people closest to you could be your enemies
Like your friends and even family

I've come to the realization that even a certain light could be a disguise of darkness
I realized that this bottle of ***** and these shot glasses of patron
Only numb this seemingly temporary pain
And could literally **** up my life

I hope you all someday come to the realization that nothing is really what it seems
So don't make a temporary decision to fulfil a desire for your demons
Cause all you'll get in return is a lifetime of regret

Ever want to runaway, but you have no where to go?

Is every mistake forgivable?

One thing you'll regret most of all
Is staying quiet instead of saying what you feel
Because nothing's worse then unsaid words, un expressed feelings, or a mistaken broken heart.

I'm the white spaces between every single word.

I truly hated my name
Until my ears got the pleasure of hearing it come from your sweet lips

I still don't understand why the people you love the most, hurt you the most.

In you, I found myself.

Fill your emptiness in my emptiness so I can at least feel something.