What do I do.
When's everything I do,
Everything I say,
May never seem the best in anyway,
I test my limits, learn my boundaries,
But never push to far,
I give comfort, respect, loyalty,
Anything you want, anything you need,
But why,
But why is it never good enough?
Almost seems that every day I seem to live the same thing,
A bunch of useless hours and days,
Only good part is that I get paid,
I can only wish that one day things will change,
I want to be happy again.
Something to look forward to at the end of the day, week, month, year.
Something to keep me going.
Just someone.
If not, every day just seems the same.

I wanted you to know I did hear you and for the second thing this is the second time in writing this because it got deleted. I'm always here if you need me, I may have not shown it but all you got to do it pick up the phone and call it. I'm a bit taller if you remember, but you would be the only one who would remember the past me, for only you could see. The true me, although I may seem a different person to you. I'm still the old me and you thought I broke free from the nonsense, but I really just stepped into more contant *******, but If I could take a pick I would take a leap forward to future, past the high school phase and all these pointless days, in constant distress, dazed in confusion, but I didn't come to a conclusion I know this is out of the blue but I still do love you. Don't be afraid to come to me because I'll be here, my first peom I wrote for you was ten times better. To add to it, would you like to be my friend again?

So from the top when I first met you, I remember the first time I met you and wish I could have with been with you, It was at a cheerleading competition or close to it, I saw you and I was with Henry and Chicago. I never spoke up because I didn't even know you. But came school and we met, I remembered our pumpkin fight and how we sat outside on the trampoline watching the stars, how we went the the fair around Halloween time and remember while all the people going to the fair are passing the car and when I was changing in the car, and remember most of all being happy. Your the only one who's never truly hurt me. I've hurt you but not in a way I ment to do. I have no clue the pain I caused to you. To be trapped, forgotten, to be an outcast, just trying to be normal. All the distress I have been swamped on you have been buried upon just worse. If I could change the past I would. There's some things I never go to do for you the only one who could be faithful to me and feel like you loved me too. i want to explain so much but at the same time lets just hang out. I want to be able to help you in any way I can. Doesn't matter if I have to come get you and spend a few hours, I mean cmon I'm not that bad!

Nothing's okay anymore society if ****** up. And yeah I defiantly remember that it was hilarious but at the same time like what the ****. And no nothing is okay but there is plenty of time to be able to be your friend. You can't tell me no. Stop living in the past and live in the future. As it may not seem so easy, but it's something you work on. I have a lot to share to you but I need to know if your there for me too.

I'm not sure what's best for you but I want to be able you make right decisions. Does he work? Does he go to school? Does he actually get off his *** and does something? Does he hurt you? Does he treat you right? Does he tells you how unconditionally he loves you? Does he show his actions but not by just words. Someone needs to step up to the plate, and if no one does I'll have to do something about It. You got to know what's best for you and if you hesitated at any of those questions he's not the one, do what's
Best for you, we need a day to talk and go over things, try to get back to me soon as you can.

Reading your stories,
Reading your past,
Reading your poems,
It hurts me inside, it hurts to know I hurt you in ways I never meant, I would like to say I'm sorry for never giving a reason, I always did mean what I said to you, specially those cold harsh nights with you trying to stay warm, all the memories we had in such short time, all the things I gave up, and then yes I gave up, for what tho? Is my own question. I couldn't give you a good reason, because I had no reason my self, I just gave up. We changed as people, but one thing I truly remember is us. All those days with you by my side, you staring into my eyes, or on my shoulder, or in my arms, your kisses, all the things I could never forget, being with you. When I see you it's the first thing I think about, is us, our past, how could I forget? I read your stories, your poems, and couldn't help but remember the past, you were broken, I wasn't there, you we're hurt, I wasn't there, you were alone, I wasn't there, only if I knew how stupid I was, it could have changed everything back to how we were, perfect in our own little worlds, close at heart, but I got to tell you one thing I sure do miss you. Please write something back so I know it's really you, that I've always known, the sweet girl, that is really shown.

Times are different, things have changed, we as people grew to be individuals of our own nature. Grew up and developed traits that represent who we are. But deep down, I'll always know who you are. For you to want to come back just to see me, ment a lot. But let's take it from the top. You're beautiful like you always were, don't ever doubt yourself, there's just a strong feeling when you come around. I'm not sure what.

We took each other hand and hand,
Despite our differences, we loved,
But one thing I can't stand,
Is that I once shoved you away,
Only to be able to have my space,
But was it really my place?
Never said it was the best decision,
But what is done is done,
Past is past, but future has no limits,
I always say,
You never know what the future leads,
Almost like how you never know if a flower will bloom in the spring, or as if I just came to you and kissed you.
It would be a shock,
Something you wouldn't expect,
But you always have to expect the unexpected.
Even if you will never know.
It's what the future holds.
Powerful but yet deceiving.

Are you there?
Why did you stop?
You were so good at what you did.
Because our lives changed and we moved on? I know I always come back to check on you, but there's always so few that I see from you, or never less nothing new. I see you from time to time, it was just a blink of an eye when we fell apart, where did all this time go? Where'd you go? Are you there? When you write, I see your passion, your emotions, your past, your present, your future, everything in one. I know you still check time to time but you never write back what happened?

I never said I was good at this but I do it for you, you use to say I was silly cute when I wrote to you.