I asked a six year old
What she thought love was
And her response was
Simple
She told me that
“Love is coloring outside the lines,
Because no matter what,
They will always love
Your drawing”
And her answer was simple but
It kept me awake at night
Because I never showed you the deep
Purples that bruised my thoughts
And the black scribbles that were
Supposed to be organized
But instead went everywhere
And the painful reds
followed by pale pinks
Because I began to believe
That a six year old knew more
About love than
Me

Grotesque bugs that seep.
Along your spinal chord, it'll creep. Burrowing into your skin so deep.
It will haunt you in your sleep.

Don't know how much you can take.
It'll bend you till you break.
Swimming in your blood like a lake
Slithering along like a snake.

It'll bring out a tear.
An ear splitting yell you'll hear.
It'll be there waiting, oh so near.
Can't you tell, this is FEAR.

I quit being okay with this
I quit feeling like I can't breathe
and hiding everything that's real to me
it's my choice right?
to throw in the towel
and just forget it
to just be me
I just want to be with me
no one sees that
cause everyone just wants
what feels good to them
and I don't want to feel good to anyone
anymore
I don't feel good anymore
I just want to be a friend
to a friend
who knows how to be a friend to me
because my heart is heavy
how could you know
when you've never held it
it's heavier than ever
and my chest wasn't built for it
and how could you know
if I don't speak of it
I never speak
and I want everything
but i can't get a thing
silently
acting like this
soon no one will want it
and who am i kidding
i'm left kissing the inside of this door
i keep *slamming