sorry,
i cannot save you.

i can barely save myself.

The clouds above us weep
at the sight of your departing footprints,
but don't fear, love, for
from these relentless tears,
beautiful flowers shall sprout
and the heavy goodbyes
that engraved your lonely footprints
will be replaced with
welcoming embraces
and the light laughter
of a new beginning.

Sometimes poems take
forever to pass by
like fishing for the big one
hook, line, sinker,

Sitting, watching the water
ripple as they tease
saying "we're just below
the surface of what you see."

I used to have a book, books,
that I scribbled in furiously
at work, at traffic lights
in the morning and at night
after I went to bed, I'd get up again
and bled upon a page
I'd be halfway through a shower
and I'd rush through top and toe
just to drip upon the page
so the feelings would not go away

now

I write mine freehand, in the dark
after my world has gone to sleep
I take another drink
and become part of all of me
I used to think carefully
about each syllable,
each carefully constructed line
but there is no time, no time left
for me to care what falls from my brain

I read everyday, every word said
I collect emotions of others wounds
and store them as prizes in my head
I love everyone you do, or, did
and I hate them for how they treated you
or, I did, until you forgave them
or, killed them in memory or,
flogged yourself stupid for their mistakes
I get it, you write what I've lived

I draw on memories that aren't mine
Emotions I've never allowed to cut deep
Promises that were left unspoken
and crossroads where we would never meet

Hence the darkness needed to write
because I'm afraid of the shadows
that seem to hide in the light
In the dark I can pretend to be alone
Just my drink, and my dog
which occasionally likes to sit on me
and I can pretend I mean something
to just anyone, kissing emotional lips
with a passion of memories
I don't seem to own

you hold a knife
—pointed at me
but I come closer
and closer
I’m bleeding and it hurts
but I still hold you tight

Silence
Broken with a scream

There were signs

A twitch of the eye
A snarl of the lip
A look of despair

Hunger

I ignored them
It was so easy to see only the veil
Watch it dance across your face with each saddened breath

And the silence grew

I did not hear it over the crickets
And the wind
If I had only listened
I would have heard it howling louder still

And it grew
The invisible pain
I felt you drift, willingly

So that when you screamed
We cried out together,

I am alone in silence!

The world too damp for the truth to ignite
Our words too loud to hear
You turn

I am alone in silence.