She was calling
I could hear it
She was so close
I could taste her breathe
Visualize her smell
My senses were tangling
Her form was breath taking
Her grasp on me was
Of another nature
I was of her making
Her lips were pale
The feel of them left me
Mesmerize
In another dimension
A slave
Working the manors  
Of her body
No
It wasn’t rational
It was somewhat
Inefficient
She required more
Desired more  
Treasured
Cherished
She couldn’t get enough of me
I was her craving
To her
Oxygen was irrelevant
I
Me
I was her
Everything
But yet
She was always livid
Moving with relentless emotion
Every time she danced
I felt a swipe of wind
Tear my face
Length to length
A smile made a path
But
I wasn’t happy with this
This
What I’d become
I was furious
I wish I could have said no
But she
Her presence removed all illness
Unwillingly she was the puppeteer master
I was made of wood and had to be held
Up
By her hands
She held the strings to my existence
I had let her cress me
Make me into the one she wanted
I let her do as she so pleased
But even that
That
Was no good
I had given up just
When she
She had given all
I was thru
She had just began  
I guess two opposites really do attract
I couldn’t get enough
Enough of her touch
Her smell
I tried telling myself I was done
With her
With these lies
These games we play
But I just couldn’t get enough
As much as I hate to admit it
I loved her
With everything in me
I loved her
You see that “loved”
Past tense
Cause at some point I
I worked up the courage to say no
Ended those unpleasing nights
I grew tired of it all and finally said no
I wasn’t hers and she wasn’t mine
I was simply the fool she toyed with
At night, of course
But
Somewhere
Something
Inside I missed her
And it grew and grew with great force
Until I wasn’t there anymore
There was none of me left to miss her

Carcinogenic gasps
between photogenic thighs
create esoteric muscle movement
that moves me inside.
Your parents are therapists,
and mine choose not to be alive;
the words they say
don't work for moments we hide.

Jesus Christ before the sunset rust,
if I'm so alive
then why do I lust
absence.

There's a place
where I'd like to drown
every Saturday.
The water's warm
and thick in my lungs
and I'm no longer afraid.

Colliding with epinephrine,
your neck thrusts forward;
you kiss the steering wheel.
"Do you know
how much
you mean to me?"
Your eyes meet mine  
before disappearing in the glass mist.
I love you.

tonight the shadows ate the moon
i sat there in awe as it was slowly consumed
little by little the brightness was devoured
and behind the shadows, the moon never cowered
the blood moon shined
as the sun and moon aligned
and the moonlight becomes you
you too are consumed
eyes bright and full of wonder
the cold wind makes you shudder
make a wish as the last sliver disappears .
let the music of the night fill your ears

The season has come it is Spring
Flowers bloom and joy it brings
Birds chirp by the window sill
Though it is not joy that I feel
Because all I could remember
Happen was the tragic disaster
The moment that you left me
Left me and the world behind
Spring just died with its beauty
Only darkness left in my mind
Birds once sang beautiful songs
Now the only thing left is silence
The lake once sparkled diamonds
Now looks very dull all day long
Illness struck you down badly
Illness took you away at morning
I could still not face all the reality
The moment you left during Spring

I'll never know,    
I'll never try,
                   And I'll never care.

My mother asked me what was wrong
I didn't tell her that my bones ached
Or that my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest
I didn't tell her that it hurt to move
Or that it took all of my energy to even open my mouth to reply
I told her that I was sick
She assumed that I was talking about my body

Your name hurts
six letters have the power
to make my heart ache
and I have tried everything
to make the pain stop
repetition
repetition
repetition
but it doesn't work
and usually the more you repeat things
the less they mean
but with your name it doesn't work
sometimes I get used to the pain
it is just a lull that I learned to ignore
but then someone speaks your name
and it resonates through my veins
and sinks into my bones
your name is carved into my brain
and when i hear it what follows is
usually pain
pain that follows the fond memories
and the knowledge that you're not there
you consumed me and left me with no air
and so here i am trying to breathe
then you come back and air fills my lungs
breathing becomes easier when you're around.