a spark inside my soul
this amazing feeling
a drug
don't come to an end
please don't ever leave me
if i could trap you inside my mind
hold you close
so that you never leave
so that you become... home
magic
with you i am invincible
but you cant stay...
we both know that
promise to keep visiting me
and i promise ill be ok
-h.u

these are the hurt days
the painful ones...the long ones
the ones that wear me out
the ones that make me question everything
pressure on my chest
making it difficult to breathe
air trapped in my lungs
distress
soon recovery will approach
and the flourishing will begin
more strength
more understanding
more..
the damage will be worth it
it will be treasured
the good
the bad
and the ugly..
-h.u

feeling lost is like grasping for air
second guessing every action
wondering what will be the outcome
staying up every night with
all the thoughts eating you alive
holding back all the tears because you're tired of hurting...wondering how this much pain could be so silent to everyone around you?
constantly belittling you're worth because no one tends to look your way and just help you up..
the sadness comes and goes
every thought is overwhelming
right now i am hopeless
but why do i need anyones pity?
i deserve the world i say to myself...
all the self worth thoughts slip into my mind
but it isn’t too long before they vanish and i find myself in a dark room once again..
fragile heart, fragile mind
how much longer until my bottle is full?
i tend to bottle up my feelings
and when it tips over
i shatter into a million pieces
-h.u

raw emotions
they are to be treasured
treated with respect
brutal thoughts..
words to be.......studied
words crying for comfort
acceptance
pain asking for help
pain wanting to heal
open up your mind
and understand the importance
human to human
understand me
reply...with words from the heart
i have exposed my raw emotions to you
my brutal thoughts
understand me
reveal to me your thoughts
just unfold...
release the vulnerability
let yourself breathe
human to human
talk to me
-h.u

tell me why its worth it...
because i can’t seem to believe that’s true
how is it possible to fill someone up with all your love on the verge of emptiness...
all for nothing?
why is it that im adapting to this?
like some sort of sequence
i shouldn’t have to feel this way so often
i shouldn’t be crying heavy tears full of frustration caused by mistreatment...
i pour my heart and soul into a mix to serve happiness
and i am given nothing
always nothing
i am deserving
my intentions are genuine
and my words are sincere
but i keep meeting people full of confusion and sadness that is contagious
a poison
i give them love and happiness...
but once their reality hits them
it hits me too
they feed off my positivity
and leave me starving
almost as if their tears drops fall into my life as specks of darkness
and they grow like plants...
but not like roses
more like poison ivy
-h.u

where did those nights go..
laid up in your comfortable bed
in your warm arms..
where did those moments vanish to..
when you’d kiss my face all around
as i’d pretend to be asleep so i could
know how much i meant to you..
the car rides holding hands
and the songs that made our souls intertwine..
you knew how to touch my heart every time
from one day to another everything was broken
and it was inevitable...
the amount of love i gave is visible in my heavy tears
and though time didn’t define our bond..
it sure was the enemy we were blinded of
a difficult situation
i give my all and don’t know what to expect or how much
i get caught up in the moment
because i am in love with the moment
i am in love with the affection
it is new to me.
-h.u

damaged
lost and struggling
like trying to keep my balance in a spinning room
“be grateful”
and i am
but why am i so unhappy?
no answer...
i try to be okay i promise i do
but its not there
the energy, the motivation, the hope...
nowhere to be found
life is stepping on me
and im struggling to pick myself up
i have so much love
and it hurts so much
im trying and its not working
i lay in bed for hours
my mind is yelling at me to get up
but im pinned down...my body wont move
my heart is stuck
my body feels empty...
living the same days over and over
no change
until one day i find myself holding back the tears
trying not to fall apart...
i told myself im okay
turned away from my sadness
but the tears were accumulating
a pool of tears...waiting
waiting for me to accept them
and feel
so they can be free..


let it rain
your eyes are the clouds
freed from my own mind
let your mind listen to your heart sometimes
let yourself feel
sadness is like quicksand
dont get stuck in it...
-h.u