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  Mar 2017 trixia ella marie
humdrum
i am learning to live without the love
i thought i'd never have to and
it's only gotten harder.
but, this morning, i got out of bed,
and i did the same yesterday,
and i'll do the same tomorrow.
the hurt i feel will break me
and i will still be standing after.
you will leave
and i will go on.
how hard it is to love someone who isn't done loving someone else
"i want to be naked in front of you"
this is more than most people knew
i'm not talking about ****** nor touching a body part
what made me wrote this poem is loving you and art

i've let you undress me without putting away my clothes
despite of wearing pieces of cotton and denim
my whole being was still exposed
scars and open wounds were proudly shown
open arms accepted them as if they were your own

i've always wanted to be naked in front of you
not naked in a way of removing garments and seeing
those hidden tattoos
but naked without all the secrets and walls
to let you in to my soul and fall
for you to see my chaotic perceptions
to explore my darkest deceptions
to take a glimpse at my deepest fears
to know the reason behind my tears
to marvel at my arduous dreams
to listen to my demons' screams

here i am uncovered and raw
this is more than the constellations could ever draw
a girl's most intimate moment - a girl with a heart of a poet
words have my emotions translated
"you were the only one who've seen me this naked"
i found poetry
in the gaps between your fingers
that were never meant to be mine

i found poetry
when you arrived in my life;
just like the waves searching for the shore

i found poetry
when I fell in love with you-
intensely hard.

and i found poetry too
when you didn't love me back
and i chose to stay in love with you.

— The End —