Mom!
Mother!
Mommy!

Mom!

The word feel sweet in my mouth.

Mom! Mom! Mom!

There's no particular reason to say it,
I just do.

The word comforts me.
Relaxes me.
Makes me feel like wrapped in warm blankets on a cold winter.

Mom! Mom! Mom!


Why don't you say it? Just once. Please.



Mom!

Laying on the sofa
Reading webtoons.

Chewing on jelly beans
Dribbling my legs

Eyelids closing
Sighs escaping.

Thumbs drifting around
Laziness consuming me.

Bored. I knew this sleepover would be boring. But I just didn't want to be stuck in my house.

Listening to snorts
Of the little Chihuahua.

My friend sprawling on the bed
Me rustling on the sofa.

What an weird way to start of a morning.

Haha.

My right ring finger itches from that ant bite.

It was first a little speck of pain.
When I noticed it, it was a dot.

I squeezed it. And the dot was swarming with liquid.

It popped.

My eyes spotted blood.
I wiped it away.

But then that bite kept itching.

So I started squeezing it. And more blood came out.

It hurt. But I kept on doing it.

The bite will now grow big and painful.

Because I kept on squeezing it.

I was hurting myself.
I could've stopped.
But I didn't.

Why?

All this I'm doing...

Is hurting myself.

My fingers type the same topic over and over.

Because it hurts.

It hurts that I can't tell.
It hurts that I am weak and foolish.
It hurts that no one cares.

It hurts that I know it's wrong.
It hurts that I think it will go away
It hurts that what I'm doing I'm wrong.

But I keep on doing it.

I know that the more I love the more pain I will gain.
At the end, it will be me with sorrow.

I'm scared that she won't miss me.
I'm scared that she dislikes me.
I am foolish.

I am weak.

I am tired.

Of this.

Repeating the same trama.

Over and over.

I want to end this.

I an too tired.

There's something funny

Hilarious and weird.

I can smile, grin, laugh.

But I can't frown.

Well,

I suppose that's a good thing, right?

Haha.