Missed moments

I'll  never see the rainbow if i don't look over the horizon after it rains , the inverted spectrum of a smiling sky.
Never to be beheld , had I not looked through the clouds as they dissipated.
Like the  smile on your face , after I tell you I love you
I don't wanna miss a moment
To tell you I love you

I'll miss the shooting stars slicing through the midnight sky like a razor though paper dipped in darkened blue, if I didn't take the time to look to heavens in the darkness.
The same stars I see the moments our lips touch in each and every time we kiss.
I don't wanna miss a moment
To kiss you

I'd never get to hear the morning choir , the birds , calling out to one another in song,natures wake chime ,no , I'd never gotten to hear if I didn't just stop and simply listen.
Like the sound of your voice ,an angels whisper , the music to my very soul.
I don't wanna miss a moment
To talk to you.

Moments, any free moment , is a moment I can fill with you, a phone call, a kiss, a cuddle , a thinking of you , an ode , like cars on a train , filled or not they still pass by, and I don't wanna waist a moment.
I didn't wanna miss a chance.
To spend that " time " with you.
I don't wanna miss a moment,
I don't wanna miss a moment to love you.
Because any moment without you ,to me is a moment waisted , and a moment I could have shown you love ..
Missed moments

Love

Love makes you hurt when there is no pain
Love makes romance out of being caught in the rain
Love can make you miss someone before they say good bye
Love can make you notice cute " little things" that normally wouldn't catch your eye
Love makes all those slow songs suddenly make sense
Love can make intimacy passionate and intense
Love makes you feel lighter than air
Knowing that special someone will soon be there
Love makes you look at things as if there totally brand new
I know all these things because I fell in love with you !!!!!!!!!

Napkin

I see the discarded paper napkin burrowed  on the floor amidst a pile of other useless *******  , its purpose exhausted , the lips,it had been brushed against no longer have  the desire for its use , what once laid atop the table outstretched, and always eagerly available  , but never noticed unless it was called upon , or if it wasn't around , it had given its entire being, just  to serve for someone  , and all it had received for making itself available at a moments notice , is a lonely place on the floor next to the trash can , a crumpled ball of discarded nothing , tossed away without even a thought , no more lips to touch,or fingers to caress , just a worthless napkin , alone .....,except for the rest if the trash .......... and as I contemplate my thoughts  , I keep thinking to myself ...and then ,say out loud ,
" I know, how you feel " ........

No way to measure

No distance ever fathomed
Even light years away
Like the elusive horizon
Always
Just out of reach
Or a circle
that never ends.
No ocean depth, or density
Could ever harness
what I'm holding
Amidst the beating walls
Of my heart
Which  always
says your name .
I've often wondered
Even to the limits
of my imagination
their is nothing that can clasp,
Or even comprehend,
The way I feel about you.
All the love that was ever conjured
By all the people In the world
Is but a drop in the ocean
in the universe of my love.
All my love ,all my love, my love,
Their is no way to capture just how I feel for you
It ever will be
Yes, my love,
the only thing more vast
than the universe,
Is the love, I hold for you
Simply put my love
I love you
"Infinity squared "

" numbness" is just a word

Once to often

Once to often
I've reached deep
into the depths of my soul
Trying to bring just one more insight to life
My fingers in desperation
Scraping the baron walls of the abyss,
Faded sunshines
Ashen landscapes
muted birds and arid beaches
Transparent memories
Once a raging waterfall
Purging rays of hope , recollections of sadness
Invitations to natures galas
Strolls under the moonlight
Now but An empty map
or a baron blackboard
and no place to dip my quill
Once to often
I've reached into my soul
Trying to drink from the chalice
Of odes
Tasting only the cold walls
And dryness
Not even a drop
I pray for the rain
I pray for a reason
I pray for her return
Her seed
For without my words
To bathe the wounds
On a heart filled with scars
I'm simply
Done .............

If I had one last breath to breathe
I'd use it to say I love you
If I had one last sight to see
I'd make sure it was your smile
If I had one last sound to hear
I'd want it to be you telling me you love me
If I had one thing left on earth to taste
I'd want it to be your lips
If I had one thing left in the world to touch....
I'd want to die in your arms...

Open the dream

The moment you professed your love for me, the door between my dreams , where you lived in the heart of my mind was opened to the now.
Like a magical key forged in our affection , only you could unlock my soul to the world , so that I could live to love you under the sun , not just behind the stars or deep in my imagination.
True love , ours , is the bridge between the aspirations of a future tomorrow where I slept in " we " and now wake in " us ".
Sealed in eternity the moment I " felt " your kiss !
I love you

Or love
was  formed
before their were stars ,
        because
I've loved you since
before even
we were made


I love you

Over the horizon

Just over the horizon
There is a budding storm
But not with angry clouds
And darkness as the norm

Forming amidst  the sky
Is a  wave full of amore
Looking to flood your heart
As if it were the shore

The dreams you thought lost
Or never could  come true
Are just about to rain on down
And totally envelop you

See....You got used to thinking
No one would see you,for who you are
But without you knowing , you've become
Somebody's shining star

Your inner beauty and glowing heart
Has ignited someone's soul
So don't you worry when you see
The distant clouds begin to roll

The budding storm is someone's love
Thats been building for some time
Wants to shower you with deserved affection
And hopefully call you " mine "

Pain
The pain
It never goes away
I've  just gotten  so used to it
I don't notice anymore
And then I see her ................

Pain and paradox

A stairway to heaven ?
Or steps into hell , laden with torment ?
Miles walked in finger tying
Or oceans full of ink
My skin inverted in every page
And unfiltered view into my vulnerability
Over fourteen hundred
Poems , professions , purging's
Of my beating heart
To her
A box full of memoirs
I don't want to revisit alone
she never saw the affection
The reason
I can't reread without the yearning
The anger , the hurt
Behind the love that catalyzed
Each and every page
How I could pour myself
Into the abyss , which seems to be
Her heart
And never to be regarded
As anything more than a generic
Ode
I can never go back to the man
The neglect
re live that part of my life
That went unappreciated
The emptiness , of not even a response
How one could read such an innocent , pure affection
And not be overwhelmed
No , I can never reread those
Those offerings of unconditional,
Unwavering , infante love
because for each and every recollection
If just how much she was the life I lived
The love I've always wanted
I'm haunted by all the pain
How she tossed it aside
Rejection
How she never really appreciated
All I had to offer
So I'm stuck
With a pile , over fourteen hundred poems
That I can never reread
Not without her
The pain and paradox
Of a love lost ,
Or a love I never really had ....

Poems

Used to spend the time
To find creative ways
To show you I love you
every single day

a poem from me,
heart spoken love letter
Thought it would be something, that you would like better

To put into words,
the way that I feel
With a flare of affection
And a tad more appeal

Not just an " I love you "
But a heart painted song
Something to share
As your day moves along

I thought it was special
At least to me it was
Writing you everyday
Yes , " just because "

Now there is  no reason
You took your love and your gone
all those poems meant nothing
Now its time to move on

Little pieces of me
Every day that I shared
I wonder if you even miss them
Not that they aren't there

" resistance creates its own futality on tomorrow's that will never be "

Reclaiming "myself "

It's been so long since,
I bathed in the pool of my  imagination.
The place where my thoughts turn, into words ,
I choose to pen.
I could swim in a garden of wildflowers.
Close my eyes and imagine the universe ,
And wonder,
Wonder if,
my entire existence is just a thought process in someone else rationale.
What if the universe itself , is buried inside someone's mind.
Its been so long since I've held my breath, and dove deeper,
opened my eyes and inhaled.
Take in my surroundings ,
Hear the muffled voice of my beating heart.
Da dum da dum da dum....
Washing away,
those the memories of hurt.
I used to swim in "our " affection , never needing to look further for an ode .
Now she's gone , those waters stagnate.
I had gotten so used to swimming in milk and honey.
I was lost.
Now on the threshold of my own existence.
The pith of my creativity
My Nebula
The time to jump in again.
Swim in my own correlation of ink.
Yes...
Its been so long since I've bathed in my imagination

Remnants of the scars

Stronger than steel
And sharper than the saber it had formed.
Explosive , nearly deadly , and debated.
Leaving Scars....
Scars etched under the skin and lasting beyond forever.
Weapons ?
Stabbing , striking , bludgeoning , no age restriction on this arsenal.
Concealed ?
No need , I'm sure everyone has one.
The remnant mar itself,  
more painful than the wound it came from.
The genesis of all aggression
An instant to apply , and a lifetime to master.
If not handled cautiously
If let slip
Such a cherished understanding of everything that is meaningful can disintegrate.
A paradox ,
A tiny wound ?
A gaping blow ?
For do we ever really comprehend the force of our words ?, the pain they can induce? and the internal scars that may never subside ?
Some of the most grievous scars , are the ones we can't even see !
The deadliest weapon ever known
Utterances of the tongue
Words
And the remnants of the scars!

I watch the sun set,

over the untraveled road behind us, a road that holds no memories at all , laden with  crossroads ,indifference , indecision , under appreciation, and opportunity
Places  of our paths in life , were we needed only to take each others hand and walk together into tomorrow.
Instead,
Only to go back into yesterday alone
and chase the shadows.
Paved in affection , woven in each others heart stings.
Each street sign another date, marking the missed opportunity,where we just never turned the corner .

I watch the sun set,

over our road, tears welling in my eyes , filled with the dreams that never were, a love not answered.
I wonder if their are any corners left ,maybe a street sign,
with one final date,
The one where you do take my hand, and we turn the corner together.

I watch the sun set,

over our life, our life, that never was ...
I watch the sun set

Wait !?
Is that ......
I can't believe it ....
I see , I see the ...
LAWN !!

Sailing

When I think of loving you
It's like a fairy tale
Like two lovers on a ride
Over the horizon we set sail

With the stars up in the sky
That will guide our night time ride
The wind of love that leads us
On this romantic tide

The sunset over the ocean
Painted by God himself above
Is there for our endeavor
For the beauty of our love

And every magic sunrise
Id get to spend with you
Spent gliding across the loving ocean
Would be like a dream come true

There is no end to the mighty ocean
It's a circle around the globe
Just like our love it's never ending
I'll look forward to sailing with you and growing old

I love you

Secrets in the night

Once again
In the presence of an old friend
A confidant
The onyx curtain blankets the horizon
Deepening with the waining moon
A window to Infinity
I speak
Incoherent ramblings , jumbled thoughts
To pleads for insight ,
Advice
I've rehearsed  moving  monologues , poems , and goodbyes .
Asked her to marry me hundreds of times
And cried at the rejection , while asking why .
Ahhh yes you my love, were the subject of many of the meetings
Therapeutic sessions late night talks .
Amidst the depths of this onyx abyss ,
Now murmuring along with the twinkling stars
Are all nuances , feelings , put I to words
I love you darlin
I've always loved you , you are every breath I take
The sun rises and sets , with the blink of your smile.
I've shared this only with my friend.
He knows you
As I do
Helped me realize , I can't help my heart ,
He knows , I can't help but love you .
He knows I adore you .
He knows ill be back out here tomorrow .
The shadow of my soul
The midnight sky
The unwavering ear
He knows
Ill be back , with you on my mind,
Heavy on my heart .
I love you ,
And once again ,
I'm in the presence , of an old friend .....
Sharing secrets in the night

Seeds

A seed is planted with a simple glance
A heart pushed through the surface
Buried in just a little bit of attention
Fertilized with trust
And rained on with affection
It proliferates
A budding romance
Into blooming relationship
Feeding on the sunshine from her glowing  gaze
The roots stretch deeper into the foundation formed in friendship
And to someday a garden
Laden in love loyalty and hope filled tomorrow's
All from the seed ,
Set forth by the simple utterance
Of her very name ...
I love you

Broken hearted memories,
like shadows ,
always,
over your shoulder ,
In your ear
right behind you ,
unescapable
Always touching you
Somewhere

Shadows in the moonlight

I watch the silver frames of the lingering shapes caught  within the omnipresence of the midnight moon , shadows cast into the night unable to be seen by the naked eye , but experienced through an open soul , for it is said that shadows can not exist In the darkness , but it is in the darkness that they are formed , just as my affection surrounds her too , like shadows in the moonlight , the glowing gaze of adoration , enveloping her like the moonlight , casting a shadow into the dark , I feel her presence , as she can feel mine , recognized only by the glowing smile amidst my loving gaze , but blending into the transparence of the deep blue background of the darkness .....it is to her that I belong , as we are nothing but mere shadows.....shadows  in the moonlight ....,

She is
She is
She makes the evening sky into a garden of stars in a bed of black,
glistening with all the " I love you's" uttered from my lips as if echoed in a breeze from heaven, in the whisk of my thoughts of her that never seem to escape my mind.
She is my enchantment.
days with her are sunshine , and rainbows in the storm, 
Blinded by her affection I've learned to see things through my heart, and hear things in my soul.
As her very kiss brings animation to all their is around me.
I can see the weeping willow smile, and hear the thunder laugh.
Her eyes capture my tomorrow's dreams , and she is my forever.
She is my love .

The reason

A truest friend , an inspiration for all that is good in the world , she's held a piece of my heart for as long as I can remember ,
A reason to love at all ,
Her fingerprints are on the seeds.
Planted by her wisdom , fertilized with direction.
She,
She ,churned the creativeness into my soul by her example.
Her own blood courses through my veins, as she watches the gardens I have created with my words.
Landscapes , paintings , travels.
Sunshine and storms.
Nourished from the roots embedded from the foundation she had instilled within me.
For she is the reason I can write , she is the reason I can see the good in all there is.
She is the reason I have hope.
For without her , I just simply would not be.
I close my eyes and prepare to pen again , paint another world , another scene , another story , and give thanks to the reason i can ,
through love and heartbreak , highs and lows ,
She was always there ,
She is always there
Different words , and different times, decades later
She sees herself in my world,
She is the reason ,
Planted seeds , and simply passed along ,
A writer
A mother , to her son

She makes the evening sky into a garden of stars in a bed of black,
glistening with all the " I love you's" uttered from my lips as if echoed in a breeze from heaven, in the whisk of my thoughts of her that never seem to escape my mind.
She is my enchantment.
days with her are sunshine , and rainbows in the storm,
Blinded by her affection I've learned to see things through my heart, and hear things in my soul.
As her very kiss brings animation to all their is around me.
I can see the weeping willow smile, and hear the thunder laugh.
Her eyes capture my tomorrow's dreams , and she is my forever.
She is my love .

She never saw

Pages and pages of affectionate odes
Seemed to fill the journal with a natural flow
I used to write her every day

Did she ever appreciate all that it took
To paint the word pictures that filed this book
I pored out my heart to her because I was in love

Now an old stairway covered in dust
A broken heart destroyed in a wave of mistrust
She gave it all away in search of another

She never appreciated all that Id done
She couldn't give her heart to just only one
She kept sharing her heart and looking for more

Will she ever look back on all she let go
Will she ever realize how I loved her so
Will she feel my love sill in my journals

She was always the one I would write
She was my morning , my moon and my night
But to her all I am is a memory

She's gone

The walls still echo with the her presence
the scent of her memories
Still linger on collar of her robe.
The empty corners bellow
In the silence.
This house,
she made a home.
My truest love
I miss her
She is everywhere , because she was everywhere
And now she's left me
I saw through my heart
My soul still echoes
With the calling of her name
Her scent still lingers
In my dreams
Loving her was a way of life
Living to love her
I was right at home
My truest love
She's gone

The rolling waves of the sunset undulate over the arched back of the horizon giving the sky its crimson orange hue
and that very instant
In the other side of the sun
Hands of dawn stretch out and part the curtain of nighttime
And turn off the stars , sending the owls home and the hummingbirds to work ,
And I realize , for every nightfall their is a dawn ,
And I simply smile

What if snowflakes are just angel seeds being sprinkled abroad ?

I drink my tears from of a piece of my own broken heart ,
My lips cut in the jagged edge
A reminder
Loyalty , love , affection , trust
Seems to be nothing more than a mere taboo
I never new a love that brought with it such a vulnerability within me.
You just always " were "
I wanted to be " the guy , your guy"
The one who's proud to call you mine, the one who sees you as beautiful,weather its on a sleepless morning , or in a formal dressing.
This broken heart belongs to you , now in pieces ,
But never strayed
If their was a dream to dream , it was  you ,
If it was **** attire , or high heels ,
My mind dressed you in them.
Nobody else has dressed my mind.
You truly were my ONLY love , and I was always faithful
In word , thought , and deed
For you only
Your heart
The one to which I sup , now in pieces , filled with my tears
Sour ,
Just as your taste in me has soured ,
My love , my intentions , my loyalty , my courteousness , even the things I did " just because "
Like staying up late , or getting up early , just to tell you I love you , and let you know your aren't alone.
Or that I was thinking of you as you slept
I drink the tears from my broken heart Sour ,
Just as your love , has soured on me .........

Spoken

Gentle as the lips there speaking for
Mere presence ,a precious ode
Deep in wisdom, of a souls whispers.
A corner of a humbled abode

And while ,Alone,it wields a smile
But when it's not, it will bring forth tears.
The start of an enchanted evening
Or A final goodbyes stamp of sincere.

Weather it's love, regret , or sorrow.
On your wrist, your chest or hair
It's refection will remind you,
Of someone's affection, there.

Every language it is spoken
Universally , and " just because"
No better way to express a feeling
Than a group of flowers does!

I've left an ocean full of ink throughout the pages of my journal , and I could walk across a bridge made out of the books I've filled , with all the odes i have penned for you  my love, you have captured my heart since I was a boy , and confirmed it with our fist kiss that it was always you , these little snippets of my affection , are just a handful of the things that I have adored about you since the moment I've seen you as a woman , and I will continue writing my love , enough to flood the earth with the ink from my quill , and build a bridge up to heaven above with the books I filled to you , because heaven my love , is where you've taken me since you said your mine  ..,,,..
I love you my sweet angel

Stem of the rose

My blood streams down the stem of the rose, crimson petals seem to darken with each new drink of heartbreak, my hands laden with scars , remnants of the thorns.
And yet I still don't let go.
I wonder what I'm holding on to ?
I it is me ,that is the reason for the blossom at all,the petals are stained in my pains .
Beautiful dreams, laying and wished upon, spent heartbeats of hope that never had a chance, the horizon past the pain that I was always looking upon.
Simply isn't meant to bloom.
and yet for some reason , I still can't let go.
So my blood streams down the stem of the rose .....