All along

The tender touch of petals under my feet
The taste of dew upon my lips
The scent of the foliage in the air
The sound of quiet
The sun glazes upon my face
I can smell the rays
As they part through an opening of the clouds flowing across the sky
I close my eyes and listen with my senses
Things in our existence that surround us but go unnoticed.
Just like our very breath , we live enveloped within,
without noticing unless were to cease to be.
I exhale once again, swimming in my existence thankful that I took the time to notice
What's been there all along ....

Sure

Things that I was sure of,
Im used to a place where
gravity makes things fall,
water makes things wet,
The sun shines in the daytime
fire makes things warm.
Never questioned always
Just experienced,
As usual as the earth orbiting the sun,
Or even the blood in my veins
that,
does the same around my heart.
Until ,you said you love me…..
those things i was sure of ?????
Now gravity,
It, draws me to you
as i have  simply “ fallen  "
Its Your lips, that make mine wet,
with thoughts of another kiss
you are my "sunshine" when you smile
and not just in the day,
And its your love ,
that keeps me warm
that “fire” from within.
Now YOU are the center of my universe
My heart picked you to orbit.
so now ,
The only thing I’m truly sure of
Is that,
Im in love with you !

Swallowed by the night

Another world awaits
Between the dusk and dawn
The threshold of anticipation
Fears , and fairy tales
Have taken abode
Shadows hide in plain sight
The skies blossom with blinking eyes
Hopes for a romance
Under the stars
Hunters walk
And on the prowl
Midnight canvas flowing
Thruways lined with pillows
Taking sleeping minds
off into their dreams
The moon casts a silver shadow
Bathed in blackness
Dried off from the sun
Another world
Another Realm
Another universe
Just beyond apollos ride
Prerequisite
to the roosters calling
Adolescents intimation
To a grownups anticipation
Its as if the sea were to engulf
The terra  
But only for a time
The owl shrieks
The daytime sleeps
As we get swallowed
by the night

I've gotten used to ....

I've gotten used to that empty feeling in my gut,
Now that your not around , I feel the echoing memories, digging further into the foundation if my soul
Like moisture into the asphalt finding its way through the crevices , and breaking it from within .....
I've gotten used to not hearing her voice
Even though it still ignites a fission under  my entire skin
I've become accustomed to looking into distant memories
Blurred with tears
I've watched the door close on our tomorrow
It was all so sudden
And yesterday's now,
  are further and further away
You were the life I wanted to live
You were the love I wanted to adore
You were the Eden I had always hoped for
You are the answered prayer
You were the future I've always wanted
Ill never get over you
I've just gotten used to it
That empty feeling
That empty feeling
That empty feeling in my gut

the wooden stairs yelp a bit to the weight of my aged legs ,they seem to ascend with a little less bounce these days
The stagnant air with a sprinkle of must greets my nose
Halfway through the journey
Like a distant memory
My mind seems to **** through the the amassing of moments of a lifetime .
Corralled amidst the dark and dusty chamber of an existence.
Recollections
Revered , yet bathed in cobwebs
Some more than others
One can tell the moments
re-visited more often than others...
The recollective tide has washed away the dust , and the cobwebs have eroded into the corner.
My life
Most of it , sprawled amidst this 12 X 12 area that has become a place to get lost within
Unfitting clothes , I can't seem to part with
A time when I was in better shape
A covered Christmas tree with its own collection if stories
Books upon books
That I've immersed myself into, the mould the conscious grey matter peeking this now
Piles of journals
Odes to a love of a lifetime
Chess boards
That taught me how to " see through " the picture
Good and bad , happy and sad
A corner of heartbreak, a table of hope.
A pile of shoes, with Miles on their souls
Destinations, journeys, a walk of life buried ,
Memories, emotions
A soul
Where is your attic ?
And how often do you visit ?
The attic

The blackboard

I often ask myself when
When it was that it started to end
My greatest fear realized
Clouded judgement
Forgiveness , loyalty ,
Love
Like a wand made out of porcelain
Chalk
Filling the blackboard with memories
Moments , blocks , and bricks
That formed the horizon that was
"Us "
For everything my love , is , was
You
But slowly ,
The wings of chaos makes its presence
Unveiling what lay beneath my love stuck conscious ...
Maybe it was the time you lied to me for the very first time ?
Maybe it was when you were unfaithful ?
The only loyalty you showed was for your own self preservation
Instance by Instance ,
The pieces of the picture nullified,
Erased .
All the un answered odes
Empty calls
Under appreciation ,, met with a pre occupied heart
Or a wintry response
Slowly the slate surface of the blackboard pushes through the cloudy remnants if the "rubbed out"moments we had
Forgiveness , met with a cold heart
And a pile  empty sorry's
For her heart, has become as hard, and cool as the blackboard itself
And now it is an ashen pile of clouds
A remnant trail from the eraser
As " we"
Slowly faded away .......

The corner

An open volume lay dormant
Misted in a fine layer of dust ,
and cratered with droplets of dried up tears ,
A hollow pen ,
, fallen
, like that tree in the forest without an ear to listen
Highlights of a love
Slideshows , formed in words
Painted in ink
Just to reminisce
Pages filled in a foreground of love , affection , and happiness ,
But the background , empty
a promising future faded
As the foundation which all would be built is gone
The pen lay dormant amidst a pile of white
Lifeless dawns , that stretch into lost evenings
No future left to write
Inspiration dried up
The pen lay barren  
In a corner left alone
Since she said goodbye ...

The final crossroad

Look behind you at all the occasions you had , moments of truth , and forgiveness the times you tarnished the innocence of an affection.
The lies , infidelity, and unenthusiastic attention to moments special.
And yet their was still a chance , a way forward , and outstretched hand, and open embrace.
Corners , crossroads, in our journey.
Streets where unconditional love, fidelity, respect awaited at every turn.
Yet you chose to pass buy , this last time ,The eleventh hour , our final hope , you've turned your back on us , and said goodbye to our forever , my road has its own corners now , and your road without me , as you have just said goodbye to our
" final crossroad "

The mirage

just as i reach out to grab,
and its just not there
like the image in the desert
Disappears into thin air

From a distance it looks inviting
The ultimate quencher of my thirst
Only to come upon it
And see that it's dispersed

Sometimes I can't tell if
It's from my eyes or from my heart
That tricks me in to thinking
It's an angels work of art

It seems always at a distance
Or an arms length away
That Mirage of love I seem to chase
That's much to my dismay

Just once I'd love to catch up
With that image that I see
And finally settle down
And be together happily

Moon

We  gaze upon the evening moon I And I wonder how many sets of eyes are doing the same at this very moment ? and how many places that sphere of lofty light  has  managed to bring itself to in the eyes of another ,how many stories has it found it's way into ? thats when i come to realize that it's not just hovering up there there for me....... it to belongs to those other  many sets of eyes are gazing along with me at this very moment , That calming romantic illumination.......tranquil ...., just resting amidst the midnight canvas , romantic.......... How  many marriage proposals were recited beneath that same  glowing  mass of enchanting mystery ? how many first kisses ?or first times ?......and how many other tales were conjured within the imaginations of fellow writers ?, how many hearts has it  shown its enchanting glow ? how many places has it found its way into from  its majestic perch aloft the heavens ,?.......guiding the midnight archers , and keeping time , since the beginning ......no the moon is not mine , but it lends its presence to me and countless others , for just moments such as this , an evening under the moon .

The potters hands and Clay hearts

Graceful as a gazelle in full stride
But as free flowing as jellyfish
Feathering through the currents  fingers trickling
An ashen mass to be dipped in crimson
The potters innovation
A pre determined thought and a *** of clay
Intricacies , emotions , endurance
And then a name
Not for the torso to which it will eternally reside
But for the hands if the person it eternally belongs.
Etched into the surface
By the hands of the creator
My heart now ,
it bares your name.
Planted within me , breathed it into life.
Handed to an angel,
and sent to earth ,
So he can get to work ,
on yours ...
The potters hand ,
and " our " clay hearts
       I love you ....

Rain

Gentle kisses , like raindrops I shower her with my affection
The clouds close like window shades and block out the gaze of the sun,
The only light is the glistening in her eyes fueled by the burning desire we share together.
Our lips dipped in raindrops our own special nectar , so savory the taste , we can only devour.
Enveloped in the rain , enveloped in each other, saturated  in love,
The rain hypnotic , our vertical blanket as we make love with our mouths, stuck to one another,bodies being massaged by those liquid sheets ,unable to harness the passionate heat that nearing the critical mass of desire,the waiting explosion, that is undoubtably immanent
the catalyst , cocooned in the showers , locked in an embrace joined  in our kiss , lost in the moment, we " make out " in the rain !

You were the reason

You were the reason I smiled in the morning ,the reason to the bounce in my step like walking on the moon , and then to gaze upon it and watch it glow even brighter.
You were the reason my heart flows like a waterfall thrashing into my stomach every time you were around, the collision if that rolling affection into the river if my insides that has been drawn to you forever.
I didn't just stop to smell the flowers , we lived hand in hand in the garden together.
You were the reason the sunsets rolled like a crimson orange waves reaching out to the stratosphere , and the realization that tomorrow would bring another day to love you more,
Your love was never just about being my love ,
It was a reason ,for a way of life ......

The tempest inside me

So much love, my insides tempest fury
Reciprocation a road not traveled
My mind , heart, and soul,they  play the jury
Until the rendering judges gavel

A waterfall of affection given
An arid stream ,it seems in return
Only to her heart, that mine seems driven
Tears from her apathy makes my eyes burn

A pleaded case, seems to fall on deaf ears.
The tempest bellows, making my ears ring
Knowing the verdict can realize my fears
To give in so much, and leave in nothing

Can she not see, whats on the horizon
Can she not see, the red storm is rising.

The troubled brow

The weight if the universe
The things beheld
The scars of a broken heart
On Display
Transparent emotions
Its very own language
Silent speaking
But volumes told
Dampened in emotion
Mopped in relief
Omnipresent to ones existence
A hint of movement
Another mood
The awning over the eye
Which is the porthole
To ones soul
In unison it works
But with its very own story
The troubled brow

This isn't .....

This isn't poetry
Its just a list of the things I love about you ,
Jotted down in the way you make me feel.
blended with heart full of emotions.
Expressed in a way my lips couldn't find a way to say.
Through the eyes of a person who adores you.
This isn't poetry ?
But the way I love you,
Is !

"Every unoccupied thought
Seems to find its way
To her "

Tomorrow

What's a sunrise without your smile ?
What's a breeze without the scent of your hair ?
Where's the harmony of the singing birds ?
Without your voice to share

What's a walk without your hand to hold ?
Its just a stroll alone
What's a house without you sharing it ?
It can never be a home

Dinner without your company
Is simply just a meal
And a bedroom is just a place to sleep
Without your tender skin to feel

To see the moon, and not have a dream
Because I can't see it in your face
Is just another conformation
Your love can't be replaced

I need a future that has your love  
Their is nothing else that I can say
Because any tomorrow without you in it
Is just another day !!!

I love you so much

as the stars flood the sky on this cold december night
and tales of Santa and his reindeer begin to take flight

the sweet scent if pies and puddings fill the holiday air
and silver haired ladies can't wait for there grand kids to get there

The tree is filled with a rainbow of lights
And all the good children are getting presents tonight

Then There is the fire that fills the air with burnt pine
And the grownups enjoy Christmas spirits and wine

and although most stories are of santas toys and the sleigh
We also hold dear the true meaning of this day

Our savior was born to deliver us from sin
So that we can have eternal life with him

To be at the right hand of the father above
It was honest and truly a pure gift of love.

I was trying
to win her over ,
but she was trying
to win him back

I didn't just lose
The girl I was in love with
I also lost the girl
I've loved all
Along
Because now
I see the girl
You really are
And my image of you
Is
Shattered !

under the moon

standing next to you under the moon
i see its reflection off your face , and i just smile
my eyes , gazing upon you telling a story
without uttering a single word
glowing hair , porcelain skin
you “feel me” without a single touch
and perhaps , you too will fall under the spell of the moolight
your eyes answer back again without a word
you join me in this unfolding story
weather were walking  the bordwalk
or strolling the glistening shore
waiting for that “moment “
as if fated hands and the gravitating force of romance
draws our lips , invisible force ,nudging until……
without a word ,now………
embraced in a kiss
two hearts , enchanted under the moon, joined on the lips
a story unfolds …….

under the moon

Unfamiliar murmurings

alone in the darkness, the secluded  sound makes its presence known
Unfamiliar murmurings seem to ripple the swells of your very own breathing
Something different amidst a routine endeavor
And yet it still has not come clear
until the chill
An arrow straight through the ***** poisoned with the revelation that its the echoes to your own heartbeat that were made anew
Because you chased his away
And he just always was

You told me you loved me
But your life didn't need to change
It was to late for me
Because your words
They changed
Mine

Your love was the doorway to my very existence, changing a dormant soul into a vibrant rainbow of emotions enveloping you like the rain shower that proceeded it, flooding you with my adoration, for it was you that unlocked the porthole of my heart, opening it to feelings I never knew I possessed , where I can speak to you in pictures, and read to you in song , you are the gateway to everything beautiful, it's because of you I can smell the carnations in the breeze of hear the singing of the birds, as they fly over the pastel horizon I never noticed until you, you are the entrance to my future, that will not exist if it doesn't hold you, for before you I "lived" , and now with you I'm "alive" you are my passageway into Eden , as your love has truly brought me heaven on earth, you have opened up my deepest dreams and made them into a reality the minute you came into my life , and through you everything is now my eternal bliss.
I love you angel

She sees him through the wall
The wall she built layered in the distances she put between them
frosted over moments painted with the coldness of a selfish heart
He desperately tried to save them
But she always knew
She didn't wanna be saved
He rode in on a stallion named loyalty
On a wave known as affection
He loved her only , and always
But it wasn't enough
Bit by bit he handed her is heart
And in the end he kept trying to just hold on
This was his love of a lifetime
but he was just " a " love in hers
The flowers , the notes , and letters ,
Drawings , and dates remembered
To him were special
To her , just another stone , hardened over in the coldness of her heart.
She broke him,
The wall finally met his eye
He could see now it was only him trying to save " them"
She was indifferent
He traded " loyalty " for "hopeless"
And prays  she at least realized what shes done.
He loved her with all he was ,
And she let him ride away
All she has left is the wall she built
Layered and laden with frosted over memories
Of all the times he tried to make " them " special.
And she just tossed them aside....
Because her " life didn't need to change "

She used to be enveloped
By a sea of affection
Each and every day
In the form of odes
And " I love yous "
Now
Since ebbed away
Only  to see the
Stones
That are the foundation
To her very being
Her heart
As it seemed twords him
Hard and cold
Revealed

As if the crests of the waves were slumping shoulders
I watch them roll away
Fingers sifting through the tide
A futile attempt to hold on
The moon lays a pathway
On the surface of the sea
Just another empty road
Why ?
Hopeless tenants we are
At the mercy of our surroundings
My love , my ocean , my world
I'm drowning
We floated on our hearts
Tied together by our kindred spirits
Undone by indecision and Under appreciation
My tears make no difference
On the surface of the sea
Or her hardened heart
Mine has  lost its buoyancy
Without hers to hold me
I taste the salt on my lips
Just like my tears
Suffocating without her
My love
The pathway fades in the waining of the moon
The current grabs me
Just as her heart did
Hopeless travelers , at the mercy of our affections
Without her ,
I'm lost at sea ........

I love you

Wake up into you

To what is the morning to merely wake ?
For not only to hear the songbird sing ?
But next to the person my heart doth ache
with you , it's not only the dawn you bring

Need not the sun , when I behold your smile
When I can wake in your beauty instead
I have captured Eden in  your profile
My dreams no longer just live in my head

To wake into you commencing the day
Elating me just to love you once more
Knowing you are last nights reason I prayed
So much more affection yet to explore

I want to live the rest of my life through
Starting the same, I wake up into you

We're at work

She has no idea
how she seduces me with her movements
gesturing her upper body
While she harmonizes with the radio
the vibrato  of her voice
caresses my ears
like feathers of a dove
oblivious to my gaze
however ,
In my mind
I am dancing with her
her rolling shoulders
hypnotize  my thoughts
she sits at her cubicle and yet
For me
She's performing , for my imagination
Enticing my attention
I sit behind her
Yet in my daydream we are face to face ,
In my daydream she knows
I'm watching
In my daydream , she's performing just for me.
In my daydream were not at work.
She has no idea I'm watching.
She's in her own little world , and id love to join her.
But we're at work !

What now ?

I look at the wind blown ripples in the surface of the sand
A dry model of the face of the  very ocean it boarders
Pages upon pages of heartfelt verses I wrote to you .
Tides of emotions , tokens of a moment dedicated to thoughts of our love.
For me the gratitude of knowing I found yet another way to show  you just how much I love you.
What now ?
Just like in the face of the sand,
Footprints ,
your footprints ,Remnant now
As you chose to walk all over my love and dismiss all that I am
And chalk it off
Into a mere " memory "
cold and emotionless those odes
Now as worthless as the sand you've walked on .
You are the one that gave the life to the works
The inspiration
What now ?
Like a handful of ashes  , the fire spent
Pieces of my heart , ignited by the burning affection that had resided at the core of my soul since forever , each and every ode
Sent to you, afire
A piece if me , that loved you
Unconditionally
Spent , burned out , laid to rest
What now ?
Did you even realize the deep rooted affection , woven into each line ?
Could you tell that the author loved you with all his heart ?
Or did it just simply not matter ?
Just words ?
I look into the pile of pages
All the hours , days , and moments.
Spent " into you "
Did you ever really love me ?
What do I do with all of those pieces of my heart ?
I gave them to you ? For you
And now I look back upon them,
Hundreds
Just laying there
Discarded , laden with your footprints
Everything we shared , just a painful reminder , of what was ,
And what will never be
A spent heart , a pile of letters
With no other purpose but you,
And sobbing ,
I think to myself
" what now ? "

When ?

A vacant gaze my recent reflection in an embrace that seems more like a courtesy than affection ,
My insides an arid well , spent,
are the wishes and dreams
Leaving only the stone walls and empty echoes
Of a heart that still beats her name.
Her mind somehow made up,
No longer is it only me that that she wants , and in my heart , I never was ,
Seems like now , all the excuses she used to find a way to talk to me , are now the excuses not to.
She says she doesn't know what the future holds , to me it isn't a future without her to hold.
Always just a part of her life , but never part of " our " life apart.
When did I stop being special ?
When did loyalty , trustworthiness, and respect become something toxic in a relationship ?
Maybe when I expected the same?
We danced together to music in our minds , tied together in a kindred spirits gala.
Drawn to her all my life
Now
My compass , always with her pointed north
As hopeless as a lighthouse in the fog
My tears ?
So many a night lost in a confusion ,
Rejected was my overwhelming affection , and just the plain willingness to " do " for her.
She wanted a friend with benefits, I wanted the benefit of being in love with my best friend.
When did love become so underrated, when did my affection stop being appreciated ?
When did my love stop being returned ?
I drink my tears , from the cup of my broken heart , as I notice the love " gone " from her gaze , and I keep asking myself
" when " ??????

When I die

When I die pleas don't be sad
Don't wish you could have spent more time with me , you could have if you wanted.
Don't wish you had one more chance to tell me you love me , you passed up in so many times when you could.
Don't feel bad about not having one last night together , you had plenty of fun with those people you blew me off for instead.
Don't feel bad for all those times you were unfaithful , and how rotten you must have felt for making me hurt , cuz you only went ahead and did it again and lied about it .
If you miss my voice , don't fret my darling , just get in touch with whomever you were talking with , when you were not talking to me , waiting say " I love you ".
It's ok my love , you'll be fine.
Don't worry about all the " I love you's " and expressions of affection , you said it yourself , you didn't have time , I'm sure all
Those people places and friends will never let you down ,will show you unconditional love and loyalty , heck , I'm sure they loved you like i did !
Someday , when they all have lives of their own , don't feel bad that I wanted a life for us .
You'll be fine , I'm sure those people cant wait to hear from you , like I did every day .
So please darling , don't be sad , don't be sad when I die.
Yours truly
Mr Unappreciated

When words won't do

When there are no more words left for my insides to purge
The overwhelming force that no language can fully capture,
past the Infinity squared , the highest mountains , the deepest oceans , the furthest star.
And growing still , my love
The only way to speak is with no words at all ,
The moment my lips touch yours all the words I could never know explode , like a tapestry woven out if the stings if our hearts ,
tugged on just a little tighter,
our own language bonded in affection,
our own " picture " worth a thousand words ,
When words  just  no longer do ,
My love ,its my kiss that sings you and ode to which your lips can hear my calling,
and you can feel me with your heart,
while i envelop you with my love.
when there are simply no more words that can capture how i feel
I love you , I love you , I love you ,
Kiss me ......

Where ?

where is the place , the tropic isle amidst a glistening sea of sapphire where you can peer into the world beneath the surface of the waves and watch the life in the world underwater,
Or the cabin in the winter , the lone structure in a field of white , moon glistening off the surface , windows cast a citrine glow that can be seen off in the distance , the warmth of the fire , like a soothing bath
Where ?
A garden , petals dipped in a rainbow and layered like the ripples of the gentle breeze atop the sea , and the sound if a fountain off in the distance that complements the chorus of birds that just seem to know our song.
Serene ,
Where ?
Where is this Eden on earth , the only place my heart gets to rest , and my insides in tuned , the only place I can become one with the purest affection I am,
I know of only one , one place for me , not beyond the pillow , or past the stars , where the sky is weightless .
Where ?
My paradise , my heaven , my tropical isle , my cabin in the winter, my garden ,
Is anywhere amidst your embrace my sweet sweet love
Anywhere with you ,
That's " where "

While the raven sleeps

Feasting , in a climate doused in affection
Relying in the promise of a new tomorrow

While the raven sleeps

The sun parades across the sky
And I , am not just a seat at your table,
We welcome seats at " ours "

While the raven sleeps

We dine on the appetizers sprinkled in hope
The scent of the roses , the fresh lawn in the breeze
The little things normally overlooked in our surroundings

While the raven sleeps

The butterflies sleeping on my insides Dance ,
At the mere anticipation of her presence

While the raven sleeps

The dose of reality bathed in the now
intertwined with the walls of his nest
Hiding the lurking shadows of chaos that come to life the moment he wakes

While the raven sleeps

The morning star grows heavy
The skies start to dim
The moon peeks over the horizon
Bringing with it the realness of a hardened heart

The raven sleeps no more ......