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  Mar 2015 hanaB
Lappel du vide
be patient, for hell knows i am not.
- let me have my freedom. i am a wild, flowering vine, do not trim me to fit into your garden.
- when you kiss me do it gratefully. be grateful that i will share my fire with you, and not burn you down to ashes instead.
- bite my lips, and do not be afraid to dare. jump into the unknowing with me.
i like surprises.
- get drunk with me. drink whiskey in wine glasses, get drunk with me and write on my body in a pen, covering me with your drunken scrawl. let me show you parts of myself that have never been kissed by the sun.
- hold onto my waist with strong hands, do not be afraid to put your fingers on my skin. do it, and do it surely. do not touch me lightly, do it with a purpose. be strong, yet be fragile. i am not delicate, yet handle me with care.
- kiss my neck, graze your lips all over my body. let me feel you like rain on my body, a steady thrum.
- do not for a second have the impression that you are ever using me. you are a silly boy and i am a dreaming girl, who walks fast, who has a whole world in her mind. believe me, you will know if you are ever even a tiny portion of it.
i'll probably just end up using you.
i know what i want.
and do not assume that you are always it.
- speak to me like your words are roses, that graze my skin under soft cotton sheets. do not hold anything back, say everything that can possibly fit in your mouth, and do not be surprised if i leave you when petals become thorns.
- i am not attached to you.
i have a whole life ahead of me, and i want to experience every moment of it, living so thoroughly that i will not miss even a second.
i want to see the world, walk barefoot in the most remote places, i want to love and much as i can.
i want to kiss strangers, i want to make love in France with a beret on, i want to drink coffee in the shower, and i want to listen to vinyl late into the night, dancing with the music pulling me to and fro, that is enough.
i do not need you there to step on my feet.
- if you want to enchant me, do not speak unsure or shyly, move as if your fingernails could cause hurricane, and hold me in your arms like i am a storm just waiting to rain down its fury.
kiss me like i am a volcano, at any moment ready to erupt. however do not be cautious of this fact.
be ready to throw yourself in.
- speak french to me.
- even though it is dangerous to be attached to me (like driving a car over a cliff, to end up barely alive sinking into the restless ocean, actually), you must treat me with the utmost respect.
i will not always be happy and kind, but i will kiss you often, and i'll like touching you, and i'll like your bare, raw skin, bleeding on the pages of your journal in the late dusk of the oncoming night.
however if you think that i am your plaything, that you are using me, that i am a flimsy, easy girl, then you are deathly mistaken, prey only to your childish ignorance.
i am the universe.
i am so vast, you will never know even half of me.
i am an elaborate piece of art.
you are only a part of this journey i call my life.
- i will love you, but only if you understand that i am an endless book of poetry,
a whole bottle of wine,
a masterpiece made of golden flesh, blood of fire,
and each of my bones are engraved with stories to tell,
and i crave this life more than i will ever crave any dependency on people who i know can never
give me exactly what i want.
because i am incredibly brilliant and endless, and i hold every word to
pleasure you,
and destroy you,
on my mere tongue.
hanaB Mar 2015
took a step backward,
thinking you still cared.
how did I not know you were long gone.

walking down the same road with my broken leg and heart.
not realizing you wont be there to heal my broken
hanaB Jan 2015
.
I tried to let go
of what's drowning me,
in my own sorrow.
hanaB Jan 2015
I tried to let go
of what's drowning me,
in my own sorrow.

The scars on my left gets deeper and deeper
until i see a whole new galaxy
hanaB Nov 2014
love that drips from your finger tips
memories thats stored away in clouds
cleared those piles of pages that covered your eyes
your ears stopped hearing the raindrops shouting from my heart.

words that are still fresh.
a hurricane in my soul.
secretly waiting for it to calm
for you to come back.
Listen.
hanaB Oct 2014
these promises
that are meant to
last forever.
I lie.
I hate the way you hold me,
so harsh yet gentle.
its like watching
a pianist's fingers while they
keep me high.
forgetting you.
emptiness that would be forgotten
like you do.
I will swim inside you
until i find the star
that will start making
flowers grow on my head.

I will crawl till the finish line,
get out
and start from the beginning.
#hope #love #free #bird #hastagismylove #love
hanaB Oct 2014
i thought.
my heart was only crafted for you.
i still think.
cause it does not fit into others.

if only i knew that was our last kiss.
i would've seal my heart.
if only i knew that was our last hug
i would've never let you go.

i wanted you to drag me back.
i didnt want anything to be our last.
alll those words are now like smoke
all those memories like a dream; untitled.
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