I used to be sad
I used to cry everyday
I questioned taking my life
I questioned it often
But what changed me
Was realization

I realized I had a dog
A pet that would wait
For you to come home
A pet that wags his tail
When you come home

And I thought
What if I never came back home?
Would he still wait for me?
And  I realized that pets do not understand death
And they wait for their owners to come home
They will wait to see you again

They do not understand that you're gone
That you are never coming back
But they will continue to wait
With hopes that you will come home
Pets don't understand death

When you died
I took it hard
I told you I had something important to tell you
I told you on Friday
I was waiting for Monday to say it

When I found out
I spent the whole day crying
And the next day writing
I wrote five whole pages
Front to back

Everything that reminds me of you
Everything I have ever wanted to tell you
Everything I wish you knew
Everything I should have told you when I had the chance
Were written down

And placed in your casket
I wanted you to know: I loved you

It has been three years now
It doesn't hurt as much anymore
When I think about you
I still think you will just walk into the room

Even though you're gone
And you've been gone for a while
It still hurts
Missing you, when you're never coming back

I don't understand how you wouldn't trust me
I'm the most straight forward person
I say whatever on my mind
I accept anything with a reason
I forgive anything with an explanation
I don't even lie
What would have made you think,
That I would look down upon you for this?

Why do you tell me these lies?
They are hurtful and I have
lost respect for you.
I really wanted to believe you this time.

Not for nothing.
But an apology
would have been nice.
Or at least
would have conveyed
a modicum of respect.

You can't escape this
There's no avoiding the truth
Maybe not today
And probably not tomorrow
But you'll be exposed in time
And it'll haunt you for the rest of your life