Why is it that disappointment plays as motivation,
Why is it that happiness requires creation?
Why is it that a world so fare could be so dark?
Why is it that we can read something so small such as a pen mark?

How do we remember our goodbyes even before our hellos?
How do we write complexity into a prose?
How could I write something so foreign yet so clear?
How could you ever be sure that there will be answers you'll hear?

you are a part of me, no longer good
a malignant tumor, that's what's understood
you make me feel pain, selfish for your pleasure
I'd give up a lot, just to have you severed
because I no longer want to see you when I wake up,
I no longer want to see you when I sleep
I no longer want you to be a part of me anymore
you make me so sick I can't eat
you treat me like garbage, you throw me out cause I'm a bother
you are the filthy one, like unfiltered water
please let these thoughts of you escape me,
I'm locked in this prison and it's nothing but anxiety I'm given

I loved you once, why do I still care?
why do I see you in my mind?
I wish you weren't there
but I can't help but feed on the good
when you just feed on my sad
these memories once were good
now all they are, are bad

her skin as smooth as the clouds look,
enticing eyes as blue as the ocean,
darling, let me go out to sail
and I don't want a map because
I am alright with getting lost in you;
let our souls go out to dance and
we can stare up into the night sky
laying side by side with nothing but
each others warmth, between us
and between us, is something special
and just as special is you to me
so if I act a fool, love
it's because I'm a fool for love
so hold my hand and bond with me
so we can lose ourselves as one
we are halves, put us together like a puzzle
and only then will you see the four letters
on display in front of you

love of mine, no more
you threw my fragments on the floor
and you were with me through the happy
you were with me being sappy
you're not with me anymore,

oh love of mine, no more
I see your face in my mind,
reminiscing to those memories of us being kind
oh love of mine

oh sweet love of mine, no more
I'll miss you knocking on my door
when you told me things would be fine
but now they're not, you're not mine
sweet love of mine, no more

I used to stare at my phone,
and hope the message was you
but the staring changed to sadness
when you didn't come through,
and I wonder why it had to come to this dumb ****
cause right now I just wanna feel numb, ****
things change every day, and I guess it applies to you
because when you change for the worst, really what can I do
and you can blame me all you want
tell me I'm the mean one
but how can I be happy when you're colder than winter season
I don't wanna let the snow fall, someone bring me to spring
because all in all, I thought you were my ring
that you'd always be with me, but now the fat lady sings
but I realize it's for the better, I mean I miss the happy times
and writing you corny poems, giving you corny rhymes
and I just miss everything, I want to rewind
but then we'd be back at the same spot, saying goodbye
so I'm saying goodbye, I'll let the winter pass
and hopefully soon I'll be warm like summer
I just hope it comes fast

She smells like marmalade
and Christmas trees.
She cuts her heart
where she places her knees.
She smokes in the park,
under the skating skies.
She makes me upset
and sometimes I make her cry.

Over in the dark,
she plays in the snow.
And if she feels cold,
I touch her chest
but I don't know.

Bask in the bark:
our names on a tree.
Carved with the knife
that she swung at me.

She says she's drowning in my ocean,
but I feel no emotion.

Her words suggest our bond
is as strong as a noose.
But she only loved me
when I was something to lose.

you are my ****** and I am addicted to having you flow through me
but now I have to quit before I get hurt again, I am scared
and it is hard to detox, it feels impossible to overcome it
I wish it could go back to the beginning, before it turned on me
when everything was perfect, and I was euphoric
but now, my dear ******
I need my prozac back
and I beg of you to return, because I long for you,
my sweet ******
this infatuation, this addiction, this needle
this love

I am addicted to you,
and it's hard to let go

I dream of another life, please don't wake me up
I'm sick of dealing with the ironic hatred of love
and the hatred of me, because I hate what I see
and they say you can change but it's not physical, it's me

I pray for motivation, I want to be someone to admire
but my mind is burning me, please put out the fire
and I keep running in circles, please stab this tire
I am programmed to fail, please rewire

I want to pull the plug on my mind,
hope it doesn't reboot, but each time I try
it does not compute, so I'm trapped in a box
it just learns to defy, I just want to die

but I don't at the same time,
I get sad and ******* stupid
so I bleed these sad rhymes
I bleed these sad rhymes
and I keep bleeding
every second I breathe
the more my minds feeding
on me sad, wanting to stop breathing
this hatred inside just won't stop breeding
so a seedling is planted and the anxiety grows
no happy ending for me as far as the storybook knows
I'm always ******* sad and it really goes to show
they don't know how I feel
it really goes to show
and I don't even know me anymore

who am I?

no one you want to know
I'll infect you with my problems
until you want to go

I guess it's fall
my tree of friends are leaving
I am no widower, but I'm still grieving

what do I want?
no more feelings

inferior
insignificant
petty
small
naive
stupid
annoyed
angry
dis­appointed
nervous
anxious
deceived
lonely
betrayed
fooled
manipul­ated
lost
confused
broken.