It's hard to e the girl who couldn't  do anything to ease your pain
To be incapable  of stopping the building turmoil inside you like a rain

It'snot easy to be the girl you wouldn't even dare give a simple glance
To be that girl from afar whom without asking-you wouldn't even give a chance

It's difficult to be that girl you wouldn't dare to bother
To be that simple and plain girl among millions of *other

The  Orchid

Within an old book in my library
An Orchid dried and pressed I see
Without color and fragrance a mystery
Romantic notions overwhelming me

Who made this volume an orchid’s tomb?
Forever hidden in a dark room
Perhaps a ladies hand from a long past year
A memento of her handsome lover so dear

Was it given at a meeting with hearts that soar?
Or a last goodbye as he went to war
Or as they kissed in heavens light
Sharing their love in the blue of night

Are they still together him and her?
Holding hands at this very hour
Or are they passed no longer here?
Love dried and withered
like this orchid flower

Daily why try more for college when all it does
Is bankrupt me.
New school reality

they call it diamond fever
everyone's engaged

burn cold;

her vitriol, a swarm;

overwhelming, the sting

of such ice --

december plume,

risen from chasms

the air, choked with fire;

the stench

of cerulean flame

her piercing smatter; ******, igneous, the shrieks

and the ring of such sound

settled in her ears.

I feel unlike everyone else
But I know I'm not the only one walking trough hell.
I guess I; need an angel, or maybe a demon.
It really just depends which one I'm feed'en.
And I have them both standing on my shoulders. One giving me orders. The other is my soilder. And they both talking about my disorders. But I ignore them and blow them off like mortars. So I guess I need to find that shoulder to cry on, the one to rely on. I wouldn't care if she drove an ion or a scion. But she knows that I'm keeping my eye on her. But its really just a fight of surviver. But really its the insider myself the fight through hell. Is there anyone else?

a shock in the heart,
a brief glimpse (of the artist's divine),
a long aching memory:
a smile,
an opportunity
missed.

In and out. There is a apparition in my room.
The water feels very warm on my face. I am a dimmer switch.