ＯＮＥ:
we were so silent
yet the sound of
our shaking hands
and our eager hearts
filled the air like
the noise of
screaming infants

we were so young,
so innocent and
we just wanted
to break the silence

ＴＷＯ:
a year passed,
and the silence
got more comfortable

it was like
a blanket wrapped
around our
icicle arms

and i loved
this form
of quiet

it was the kind
of silence that
did not make
you crave
for sound

in that moment,
i felt deaf of
earthly noise

and all we
wanted was
to stay wrapped
around each
other's silence

ＴＨＲＥＥ:
and i don't know
when the silence
started to become
painful like a
knife with no handle
that I've been
holding on
too tightly

the feeling
spread from
my fingertips
into the nerves
that scattered
my body and
into my chest
which it deemed
permanent residence

and i can't
blame you
because i know
i hurt you too

we couldn't say
anything because
we gave ourselves
two choices:
speak a war
or let our words
die in our tongues

we chose the latter

we didn't know
what we wanted    

i don't know
what i want      

and we were
so silent

and silent
we remained

Is that you?
The one I love and adore
Do not go
I will knock on your door.

How are you?
Still in the dumps
Don’t say no
I have goose bumps.

Is that a grin?
I hate to see you like that
Let me come in
I just want a short chat.

How I wish love
I could take you out from there
Your blues I could rid off
Your woes I could care.

Love, I wish I am free
To test what we shared
Bring me down from reality
Then fantasy will be spared.

2.10.14

Classic unrequited love,
And I've fallen hard,
Waiting for a whisper of your interest,
Feeling hot and ashamed at my lack of self control
You drag me through mental thorns,
And I let you,
The scratches on my soul are pleasure-pain.
Shouldn't keep going back,
Do.
Every time.

i was born with holes in me
all my life i’ve searching for someone with a needle and thread
searching for someone to put me back together again
people, they came in and they went out of my life
but none with that needle and thread
when each noticed the holes, they thought one of two things:
they could not find the means to patch the holes
or the holes simply frightened them away
i spent many days simply staring at the holes
wishing my fumbling hands or cascading tears could somehow seal them
but my hands and my tears could do nothing
i howled at the moon in agony while i watched the holes grow
as much i tried to find people to stitch me up i never could
yes, some stayed and held me as i endured the agony
but they could never seal them
never seal the passages to the deepest parts of me
the dark beckoned to me them
it said in the dark the holes would disappear
it said i would never feel the pain again
this temptation ate at me and ate at me like the very holes themselves
but today i am going out
i am going out to buy myself a needle and thread
to do what no one else can
i am going to buy a needle and thread
i am going to stitch myself back together again