all my life
i've been preparing faces
to meet the faces that
i've met

friends
family
the man who delivers newspapers
at our doorstep each morning

i've laughed at their silly jokes
as they tossed their heads from side to side
in naive stupidity and their sheer ignorance
a pompous lot, the human race i tell you

i've acknowledged their staunch morals
and tried to make them my own
as they scorned at the girl in a skimpy dress
and chewed on mutton bones gluttonously

all my life, i've been trying hard
to blend in
with people who've shown me
that i don't belong with them

and tonight when i shed gallons of tears
i have only my bed and pillow to share
i've learnt that my sadness
is my very own

jealous of that taxi you rode. jealous of that man you rode.
jealous of the shelf space you made for him.
jealous of the polaroids of polaroids taken.
shame he's prettier than me. jealous of your mirror.
jealous of your curtains.
jealous of your tibia.
jealous of the light switch.
shame we weren't prettier.