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 Feb 2021 nevaeh
Priya
time is precious,
a resource never truly valued
until it creeps up behind
and leaves nothing but a need for more.

the bitter wind bites
as the day melts away like a snowflake
falling onto the warm surface of human skin.

who knew this would be the outcome.
it left us with questions,
it brought us closer
but tore us apart
one by one
until there was no tears left to cry.

and one by one we were made to be happy

but we are fake happy,
we are breaking on the inside
and wanting the escape that tore us apart in the first place.
time doesn't heal the wounds that turn to scars
 Feb 2021 nevaeh
Anastasia
Mother
 Feb 2021 nevaeh
Anastasia
Mother
Help her
Don’t you love her
She’s bleeding out
On the bathroom floor
Mother
Hold her
Can’t you see she’s dying
Right there in front of you
Her lungs are shaking
Mother
Tell her
That she’ll be alright
Put pressure on her wounds
Stop the flow
Mother
Help me
I don’t want to die
It’s getting so cold
Please keep me warm
a love letter to my soul
an apology for my heart
the general consensus
that i'm bound to fall apart
i tried to stay together
but i melted through the cracks
i'm sorry i couldn't be strong
but it's too late to take it back
i'm soaked through and invisible
run through your fingers like honey
let me slip on out
and get far away from me
you don't wanna get stuck
trust me i know
just let me remain broken
been better on my own
it's when people like you get involved
that everything goes wrong
i'm not worth the effort apparently
so just keep carrying on
if i was more

i'd be worth it
but i'm not
and that's why you don't care
don't say thats not true
because if i was enough
i wouldn't have to force you to open the door
i wouldn't have to beg you to move the last inch
after i covered the mile
i wouldn't pray to have a chance
if i was more

i wouldn't need to ask for chances
you'd throw them at me
unconditionally
i wish i could be more

but i'm not
and that's why you won't love me
there is a quote from a movie i love
and it talks about being perfectly happy
the main character has completed her arc
she has finished her great journey
and now
she is perfectly happy

perfect happiness

i cannot claim i know of its existence
it might not live in my reality
i think that i am one of those people
who must venture out alone
and might never return
might never finish my journey
never reach perfect happiness
but perhaps i will reach fulfillment
and i think that would be good enough for me
good enough that I may be at peace
at last
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