i keep telling myself that
like a mantra
it'll pass
it wont last
they'll move on
everything will be okay

but what if its not
what if it doesnt
what if it just keeps going and going
forever until we die
and if it does
do i even want to be alive?

to all of my best pals
the ones who made life bearable
those who were there for me at my worst
and loved me immeasurably at my best
to the ones i've lost
and the ones i'll make along the way
to all of the best friends
because you guys truly are the best
i love you all

Today, I'm conflicted:
I don't want to remember you
But I don't want to forget either.

i am at a place
of absolute peace
and honesty
a place of trust
and hope

i've lost
everything
lost my love
for the arts
for my friends
i've lost my love
the only one i've ever known
i've lost before
and i will lose again
i'm sure
i'll lose him
to old love
and i'll lose her
to something new

but it's okay
i'll get back up
start again
find new love
and new friends