There is no one here to call whenever  the thunder rattles my windows.
The lightening no longer strikes my house, because you said I did not deserve the brightness.

And I suppose I could have been honest from the start,
but your fingers were shoved so far down my throat,
you ripped out my vocal cords
whenever I pushed you off of my shaky bed.

When you hit the ground,
you shattered my glasses.
And I should say *******,
because you took away my ability to see through your facade.

And no matter how hard your words bruised me,
I kept writing them onto our life,
because I was choking on the dream of exploring the world with you.

No one though to tell me that Earth
does NOT consist of a bottle of *****
and a bright hand mark across my face.

i can only say sorry to the beautiful sadness in your eyes,
and i can only hope to learn from the mistakes i placed heavy on your heart.

you could break me into fragments
of flesh and bones,
but i will always be under your compulsion.
you could rip my throat out
with your sharp teeth and vicious words,
and i'd still answer to your calls.

whenever you sent me away,
i thought i had lost you forever,
and my fingers couldn't stay still.
i wanted you back.
i needed the feeling of euphoria you have me.

i searched so long for the human i have given everything to.
it took me several months to realise that you're not anything to believe in.

you're a dark soul with a bitter twist
behind ever, "i love you."
you're the shadows that haunt my figure
whenever the sun shines.
and worst of all,
you are the one thing that even brought the sun out for me.

you were so beautiful to me.
the curve of your lips
haunts the blink of my eyes.
and the way your fingers ran across my chest
creeks into my memory
at 4:43 am.
oh,
and the way you loved me.
it was so beautiful to me.

he held the brown pipe up to my lips;
he told me my parents would never find out.
but he took me home too early,
and i tripped going up my front porch.

the last time i saw
the way you smile at me
i wept and i wept