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I was born for leaving,
Not staying stationary for months at a time,
I need to keep going
Keep running
I need the air on my face telling me to go further
I need the rush of life that i get when i know im leaving everything behind.
Theres no turning back anymore
Its just a straight road whispering in my ear telling me that greater things are ahead of me but i have to keep pushing,
I dont know where im going
Or where im headed
But im almost there.
Its Christmas Eve,
My mom is screaming
My dad is loving
My family has come
Only to judge
They say we love you
But under their small breaths they whisper
"Because i have to"
They wont except our differences
My mom shouts
The alcohol a little to strong
She weeps
The tears fall on my shirt
Telling me Christmas is ruined
Shes drunk all the time now
Crying a little to loud,
A little too much.
She tells me shes sad,
The sadness consumes her body,
Maybe its spreading,
And i think im catching.
Christmas is ruined
Family means nothing
Being together just isn't important
Maybe life will end soon
And peace will return again.
Am i the problem?
Are you the solution?
Christmas is ruined.
Its like your sitting at a table
Then a handsome man walks up and sits down
You have a few drinks
And share a couple laughs
You get to know eachother,
You share old memories
And untold secrets,
Then a bell rings
And hes gone in a blink of an eye
Winking at the next girl
At the very next table.
You'll share a glance or two,
But after a couple minutes hes a little further down the line.
My heart is ******* broken
I have been torn wide open
I am breaking apart piece by piece
Just like each falling leaf
I was left in the abyss
Without a single kiss
You stole away my sanity
Now im left with futility
Im in love with danger
Because life couldn't be stranger.
the place that i once knew
encased with trees
and flowers protecting
its tranquility

now dies
by the hands of man
losing its beauty
it once had

the rocks are crushed
and turn to dust
by just
one touch

the standing trees
have either vanished
or have fallen
into the river that still runs

the river
holds the last piece of life
this place has left
it still runs along this place

it is still hidden behind
the only mass of trees
that still stand

please oh please
don't let the river die too.
Sadness is not just a silly little toy
that you can just pick up
and play with,
show off to your friends
as if it were a prize.

It is something so much more
and far more dangerous,
It's like a thousand steely knives
piercing into you
into every existent part of your body

And you just bleed,
and bleed and bleed
and you never stop bleeding
until there's nothing left
but skins and bones and emptiness.

So why would anyone
desire such a thing,
why would anyone
just use it
to gain pity and sympathy?

This is not beautiful
it is not a spectacle
It never was like that scrape
you got from falling off your bike
at the age of 6

It's a treacherous path you're taking,
to force such a thing upon yourself
Sadness immerses you
like a tidal wave
swallowing a cruise ship whole

When you realize you're drowning
it's already too late
You can't escape what lies inside
without destroying yourself
You've been caught in your own trap

It's not so silly now, is it?
It's an illness within you
your own demons
devouring you from the inside out
and it's all in your ******* head

Many encourage
such a horrid thing
and don't even realize
the effect
of their ****** and poisonous words

What a sick
and immoral thing
that a human being could do,
waste their time on Earth
to get rid of another's

And yet you people glorify
such a ****** emotion,
as if
it were a silly little toy
you children play with
I want to be alone,
Yet I don't.
I don't want to see a love poem every time I scroll down the screen,
Telling me what I don't have
And what I'm not wasting my time on
I'm in isolationist.
And I've forgotten how to love
The world.
And I've forgotten how to love
Being with people.
She walked away, and I shouted back, "I'm not asking for forever!"
She stops. She turns in the aisle and sadly smiles.
"That's why I'm leaving." My own smile drops.
And that's the end of that endeavour. Because time never really stops.
Forever is all some people want, and they won't settle for just a while.
Even if a while is all that I've got.
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