There's a blood moon in those eyes
by your heart shaped tattoo
and if an eclipse was for wishing,
I think I'd wish for you
I'll walk through your desert
to your river of sorrow
fill my cup with your tears
and drink through tomorrow
No stranger to poison,
no stranger to sin
I'll let you get up
and fall down again
Just please know, my darling,
those thoughts are untrue
this may be your darkness
but I'll walk next to you

He was definitely the wrong one in the situation.
After all that's why I'm here now, isnt it?
Now, I know he left when I was only 5,
but **** pops... You couldn't have called?
No, I understand you had a second family.
Though that witch left you shortly after
receiving her green card, its completely okay.
It makes no sense to take care of your own blood.
No, not when you have other people in your life.
For years, I denied your existence, even though
you were only 45 minutes up the turnpike.
I think its because I was embarrassed of you.
Or maybe because I thought you were ashamed of me...

Wasn't I worth it dad? Didn't you want a son?
If so, then why didn't you act like it?
And if not, why the **** would you do that to mom?
She raised me and Katie blind, alone, and jobless.
Meanwhile you have a pension check just shy of a million.
I have dreams sometimes of us at lunch,
but when I wake up I realize they are just dreams,
and nothing close to what reality is, but distorted memories perhaps.
I can't understand why, but I miss you...
All the best cowboys have daddy issues.

Hardly aware of awareness,
he wondered through the City.
Why didn't she answer -he thought.
A taxi splashed water on him,
which only made him more angry.
He rushed into the nearest deli,
Do you have a towel? I'm soaked! he asked.
No, but I have sweatpants
and shirts for sale. I'll lend you some. the owner responded.
Shocked by the man's generosity,
he insisted he buy them.
Where's my wallet?
I must have left my wallet at home. Nevermind.
Before the owner could hand him the clothes,
he was out the door in a flash.

Walking back to his apartment was the only thing left to do,
so he walked, and thought about all the troubles...
She doesn't love me anymore, I'm broke,
I'm unlucky, I can't keep a job, my family is ashamed,
I have no skills, nor talents, I'm a waste of life...
But he was interrupted by a quarrel between two men.
You ******* ***! You stole my wallet. said one.
I did not, you can search me. responded the other.
The first man threw a punch and knocked the other down.
I have to do something!
He ran to the two men and grabbed the assaulter
holding him against the wall, and yelled,
ENOUGH! This man has nothing and you
can't find your wallet, so you assume he has it!?
You probably left it at home, call your wife, kids,
or whomever and see if its there! he roared.
Whatever.. was his blunt response,
and the assaulter walked away...

The other man lay on the ground bleeding and coughing,
so he bent down and consoled him,
You okay man? he asked.
Why did you help me? I'm a waste of life,
and you helped me. You're the only person
in this city who ever gave me a chance:
You. Are. A. Hero. lamented the injured man.
He couldn't respond though. He just shed a tear
for in that moment all his problems went away.
It didn't matter that he was soaking wet,
or that he left his wallet at home,
or that his wife didn't answer,
or that he lost his job.
Nothing mattered,
except that he mattered.

Grown-ups were supposed
To be good role models; then,
You realize they're not.

The first night you stayed in my bed until the sun rose the next morning,
I was afraid to fall asleep out of fear that you wouldn’t be by my side
When I awoke the next day.
I lay on my side, you on your back, and my cheek on your bare chest.
I listened to your heartbeat like a loud lullaby trying to pull me to sleep.
I watched your eyelids, waiting for them to crack to see if I had fallen to slumber
But they never did.
Your chest elevated up and parachuted down in a perfect sync
With the heartbeat drumming in my ear.
Occasionally, I walked my fingertips softly up your chest as if your body were a mountain
And my fingers were hikers exploring your beauty and landscape.

I don't have much to say;
      there's not much I want to do.
I want to be
alone.
Not for the sake of
my sanity,
no,
but for the sake of
feeling whole.

I've never done well,
understanding things
like everyone else does.
my mind keeps turning gears
over and over
and over again.

At least when I'm
alone,
the confusion,
the stress,
the anxiety.
It all seems to
         go away;
I don't have to focus
on anything.
         And that puts me at ease.

I walked through a field of graves today,
And as the shadows of tombstones danced at my feet I thought about all of the times I wanted to be lying here six-feet under.
Through my trials of error I thought I had seen it all, but with every hardship I come to accept and handle head-on, I find myself starring into the eyes of a new fear.
Sometimes I tremble, sometimes I fall, but I always get back up.
I will never let the idea of failure bring me down, mo matter how consuming it may be.
So with sore shoulders and weary feet, I'm here at the entrance of all the souls that said goodbye,
Trying to find a place to rest; amongst shadows of tombstones and all these broken things.

We worry
about tomorrow




   what a waste it'll be when we don't wake up.