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 May 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
I havent written in so long
I havent been able to breathe
Even longer
All my air
Escaped
Into you
I cant think past you
Or work past you
Or exist beyond you
You have become
My centerpeice
At a party
I wasnt going
To throw
But got dragged to
I mean...
Im having a wonderful time
But i know i could be doing something else
And you could be adorning
Prettier parties
Weve become each others lives
And a lot of the time
I question why
and if for the right reasons
And all of this is
Just
Meaningless
But is anything
Legitimate anymore
Nothing has weight
Anorexic ideas
Full of nothing but air
And some human need
To prove were worth something
And something...
What is something
And what are we
Whay do we
Matter
Nothing
And im not content
With settling for nothing
But im sure that
You
Are
Something
Wonderful
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Anonymous
People like lies
They think they dont
But they do
Lies protect from the hurt for awhile
They makes things worse in the end
But for just a little while  
You still get to think things are okay
And thats a blessing in disguise
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Anonymous
Its hard to love someone thats depressed
Maybe that makes the end result more worth it
I dont know
But its really hard.
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
Poets
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
Were all walking down a similar road
to a career in suicide
and alcoholic medications
praising something so much
that we die with it
for it
in spite of it
we die
early
whether is be a god
or a girl
we cannot differentiate
we walk in trembling strides
to that alter of
our obsession
and jot down
a couplet
or an epic
or maybe a novel of song
about hate
love
obsession
humanity
oh so many muses unexplored
and we slit our wrists
offering our blood
to a deity who
D O E S N ' T  G I V E  A  S H I T
and we think ourselves holy
that we sacrifice so much
but no
the people on the other
side of the fence
are just smart enough
to know better
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
stringy hair and mixed up feelings
too much makeup and healing scars
no time to worry about capital letters
when im concerned for my health

financial aid and stress management
my dad likes the army a lot
my mom wants me to go to savannah
so she can visit the beach

My brother thinks im a ******
who cant roll out of bed
and maybe I could stand
to work out some

im a bit of a narcissist
**** how do you spell narcissist
anyway, im an attention *****
and ill tell you your pretty to hear you tell me I am too

but don't tell anyone
theyd say "no! youre nice."
im a *****
stop being a sycophant

Don't tell me im pretty
someone should slap me
I abuse everyone who loves me
because I like that I can

stop letting me
tell me off
or don't
because I like this power

but that's beside the point
im rambling about myself again
narcissism
its a problem

Daddy says don't swear
then tells me im not worth ****
but not in those exact words
irony all the same

and wouldn't they like to know
im not so innocent
11 years old in the mouth
but I know my way around a man

My friends don't suit me
I hate all of their jokes
I hate myself when im with them
and I hate them even more

they may read this
less bridges to burn I suppose
extra matches to light on your sandpaper hands baby
god I love those hands

the only person I never hate
and the only person I always love
I don't know how you did it
but I love you and all your fantastical clichés

this poem is long now
no one will bother to read
a long poem about
a boring girl and how shes a two faced *****

I hope this message
gets across
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
Dot
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
Dot
2 am coffee rings on my bedside table
procrastination at the expense of a letter grade
Nana's hand-stitched quilt has never felt so soft
But her funeral hit me hard
That quilt draped over her coffin
matched the color scheme
of the one she made for a little girl
who love butterflies and spring time
I remember pool side juice boxes
stuffed animals from a pretty lady
she was nice to me
her mom was mean to her
she cried at the funeral
Nana was a better mother to her than
her own ever dared to be
her sister found cigarettes
shes so thin now
I remember her lipstick
its always been red
it looks so red on her skin
the color of the ash
that falls from her stick
matching the skin of Papa
Nana's son
He sang at her funeral
He cried the whole time
Everyone cried
Not me
but I cant cry
Jade Green words
she read them
spotty reading with bad rehearsal
but I remember
her and I and him and my brother
juice boxes
quilts
that pool
its all her
and
I wish I had known her well enough
to miss her
My Nana's funeral was today. Her quilt is still in my room. She made us a few. It means a lot more now that im out of chances to thank her for it.
 Apr 2015 Evan Hayes
Miki
Ive never slept so well
before going to sleep
thinking of you

and I guess this
is what Love
feels like

your hoodie
my time
and our lips

traded

and I don't miss
my time
because I know

its safe in your care
just as I am
and you in mine

and I want to
wake up beside
you

and sleep
with you
too
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