Im trying to forgive

Running my fingers down the chest.
I resented hours before.
the damage from the previous fight still bare, screaming through his breath
confused, why I decided passion rather than destruction this time.
questioning his own love
while it’s mine that’s damaged
leave me before you need me
he can see right through me it kills me
holding me down as i fight to leave
i need to be
copper wire laced between my fingers
cutting deeper
the walls get smaller
Crying out to me my body gives in
euphoric as it is
i’ll repeat myself till inevitably
I fall between the last of those who choose to hold me. if any
a battle repeatedly fought
a cry repeatedly heard
becomes a burden.

As a family
As a family we stand,
together we fall.

We lose one,
we lose them all.

Im nauseated from the ups and downs
I get so low I forget what its like to breathe,
drowning by my crys and screams
I get so high that its seems I have a perfect life
I wish I could be in a time loop of this night
When it rains is poors when its sunny it burns
I appreciate the highs more every low I get
Life is like Russian roulette
You could be here one second go the next
life isnt promised the only thing promised is death
so appreciate life with all its highs and lows
your pain and hurt might never go away
but your here right now so try to live through the pain.