I wake up and think of you
but I fear you do not do the same

it's been like this for weeks
waking up from the same old dream,
the dream that makes me teary eyed and weak
controlled by you.

but please don't think i'm trapped
for this is not the case at all
you see, it's only because i love you
that i have the nerve to speak

i love you, my dear,
but I fear you do not feel the same.

It's raining
And somehow the rain always brings me to you
The chaotic way it falls on the roof
And the calm way it falls on me

I don't think of you because you're the same as it
I think of you because you're not
You don't wash away a part of me
Neither do you envelop me into who you are

Instead you pull all pieces of me together
You turn my scars to tattoos
You let me be my own puzzle piece
That fits with yours

You're not the rain, you aren't
You don't hide the sun and conquer
Instead you lay down with me
And let our skins get sunburnt

You aren't the rain.
You're everything, instead.

this poem
is not about you

even though
your spirit is in every word
your voice sounds strong
in the halls of my mind
telling me things
I am now sure
I want to know

this poem is
about me

trying to understand
you