i love
volcanoes

even mighty man
cannot halt the flow
of molten earth
the plume
of ash and fury
no roads, no condominium
will be constructed
on the pile of
untouchable mountain

He slept in that bed
long before I came into
the picture
navy blue sheets
golden brown bedposts.
I could always run my fingers
along the wall that connected us at night
his steady breath a steady
reminder
that all was well,
all was normal.


He came home from school
my parents around the dining table
shifting weight, waiting.
A letter with letters, words
of navy blue and shining gold.
Congratulations we are pr…


Smiling, embracing
          mind racing
We still had precious months…
Until liftoff.


Gazing at the bed
tired eyes
foggy with 3 am,
now foggier with tears.
His steady breath
a comforting metronome
lulled me to rest on the cool
hardwood floor
The room was warm,
full, occupied
with steady breaths,
cardboard boxes and love.


The car flew away before I could put my shoes on.
through the dust
“I couldn’t see the permanence.”
I waved
I waved until my arm burned hot
enough to evaporate the falling water from my eyes.
“If I closed my eyes
I wouldn’t see him go.”

Gazing at the bed.
tired eyes.
foggy with 4 pm
now foggier with emptiness.
He left a dent in the mattress
a comforting mold
I tried to fit
Tried to fill the space left behind.
The room was gusty,
empty, vacant,
with distant breaths,
dust and new negative space.

He slept in that bed
long before I came into
the picture
navy blue sheets
golden brown bedposts.
I could always run my fingers
along the wall that connected us at night.

The wall has swelled, hallowed.
I still trace it
listening,
waiting
for the void to narrow.

It exists as a shadow would in a dark room.
Impalpable, invisible
yet the air feels darker there, heavier.
It follows me making footsteps that never touch the floor.
Silent, inaudible
yet I feel the air shift after each pace.
It touches me somehow, without informing my skin.
Cold, internal
yet I feel the bumps emerge on my chilled forearms.


I have been trying to capture it
years spent looking over my shoulder
It knows where my eyes end
It hides in the unreachable crook in my back.
It sings
the songs
I once knew
the words to.

Each day passes
in front of out eyes we wait
for the minutes
but remember the hours

Our moods do rise and fall
faster than the    sun    ever does
but we have some bad days, some   good
we measure our moods with the          stars

Frequent walks are less frequently followed
by memories of the road
we remember we walked
we wonder where we went

And so it is that we read a poem,
the words tickle our tired eyes
yet when the words come to a hault
we are left with a feeling, no recollection of     punctuation.

Enjoy the days
remember the minutes

look to the sun
remember the earth on which you stand

walk for hours
remember your route

read until your eyes drift closed
remember each comma.

The cool gray

of the days you choose

to stay inside

to watch the world

falling in capsules

from the clouds

the color of the days

you see

where your tears go

after falling from your cheek.

"Alright y'all we're going to do a show for you"
clap clap clap the twelve year old boy gives it all he's got
jumping, brushing the passengers
a last ditch effort to eat dinner
don't look, don't make eye contact.
I think about why,
why not?
Ignoring the orders I allow myself to enjoy
the hungry boy's dance
hip hop music playing from a toy boom box
no eye contact?
I look right into the brown eyes of the hungry boy
a mutual smile forms and that's
all
I didn't have any money
I was twelve, too
all I have is a blue monkey backpack containing a rubber duck
and some toy sunglasses even though it's pouring rain, I always carry them
The Subway screeches to a halt at the next stop
the hungry boy swings smiling out the door almost knocking someone down.
I snicker, it was funny
shhhh don't look
but I just put on my toy sunglasses
strap the monkey securely on my back
and smile at strangers.