There's a buzz about the place
an energy radiating from the neon signs, the stone step stoops.
Even the locals
have so much too look at
and more to see.
Being tired is not an option
but on the subway some look as if they've never slept,
the city hasn't either, after all.
It's a place where the avenues are wider than the sky
and the sidewalks all lead somewhere.
People walk fast, and you fall in and out of love in seconds
you notice their glasses, their coats, their shoes
their eyes
darting from building to building
brick to brick
trying to absorb the huge buzzing energy.

Two marbles roll down a plank of wood
they begin close, but without contact
the marbles roll down, opposite directions
all of a sudden the wind changes
they roll side by side scraping each other
a knot, they separate, continuing, both going the same direction
in different paths
their paths never cross again,
they both end up at the bottom of the plank individually
but without that period of togetherness,
without their paths having crossed
they would be where they were.

I've read too many poems to believe in a world without tangible words.

I've seen too many hearts broken to believe anything can last.

I've watched too many shooting stars to believe anyone is really alone.

I've danced to too many slow songs to believe you need a partner.

I've asked too many questions to believe there is a right answer to any of them.

I've watched you laugh too many times to believe we could ever laugh together.

I've been nervous too many times to distinguish between butterflies and wasps.

I've been forgotten too many times to believe you haven't forgotten too.

There’s an aging house across the street
with inhabitants we’ll never meet
a bright blue truck
grass with no luck
tall weeds that look like wheat.

Their christmas lights are inside out
rust is running all throughout
overgrown
with creaks and groans
brown water out the water spout.

Why did you go?

Answer, please... answer.

Go on

why did you

go?

Why did you leave

you left so suddenly the leaves

were still drifting in the breeze

falling leaves falling down while I fell

for your unanswered questions as you darted under the falling maples.

Leaves falling while I fell for you, leaving.

Why did you leave me to fall behind?

Come back... the leaves have fallen.

come back, please... come back.

I wrote your name
and it burned through the paper

I whispered it
and it pierced the thin air

I used to think
that you were my savior

But now I see  
you were never really there.

I have so much to say
but I can't write it down
thoughts are spiraling through my ears and into
my eyes but my hands
cannot translate
the murky, opaque chain of consciousness
weaving in and out of view.
I'm frothing, bubbling
ready to burst, to sing to something.
I'm trying to write words I know but
is a name
a word.
My rule is that I don't write names, it's cheating.
Names are far more powerful than words and name has a story
a background a connotation an emotion a lump in my throat when you stopped staying.
And if "you" is a pronoun and and a name is a proper noun does the extra "per"
mean the name takes up more percent in my mind?
I have so
much
to say.
Nothing is working just words, no proper ones.
I see it. I see what I feel and I feel it. I feel what I see.
I can't write it.
It feels like a warm ocean, unexpected, nice, then suspicious.
It feels like someone took the blood from my veins and replaced it with liquid doubt
now pulsing through every artery.
It feels like a favorite toy being glued back together. Still beloved, but never the same.
It feels like drowning.
It feels like falling.
I have so much to say.
Take my hand.
And help me.
*please