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 May 2017 Emily Jennie
NV
i know only how to wear this body like an apology.
like i'm sorry i take up too much space.
like i'm sorry,
i don't feel small enough to fit into your hands.
i wear it like a sin.
like a prayer that never feels answered.
like confessions i keep trying to change.
i wear it like a broken commandment,
because i love thy neighbour,
but i hate myself.
 May 2017 Emily Jennie
NV
MY GOD,
I HAVE INHALED ABANDONMENT FOR SO LONG,
THAT ANY SCENT OF LOVE IN THE AIR,
MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE.
PLUS,
THE TANKS OF OXYGEN ALWAYS SEEM TO BE MIXED WITH A HIGH DOSAGE OF PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY,
AND I WEAR THE MASKS SO OFTEN,
I FORGET I EVEN HAVE THEM ON.
 May 2017 Emily Jennie
NV
i'm telling you.
the clouds were meant for the ground.
but they hung themselves.
Rock and roll on the car radio
Locking lips to crack the code that holds your soul
Brain frozen, bouncing to and fro
Somewhere between your sweet and cold tone

I love you and your voice and
Your lies and all your poison
But now I think you made it clear, you
Transform me into something
Else, I know that you've become in-
-toxicating lunacy

You were Moonshine,
Everything good that I thought to be mine
Walking around under the shadow of 10 o'clock,
We went dancing like we're crazy

You were my Moonshine
Every little sin that will stay for a while
Walking around under the influence,
Luminescent, I'm lit by the
Bootleg love in the back of a city
Drowning in self pity

I hate how you look pretty,
pretty far,


pretty far over me.
Moon·shine
1. Illicitly distilled or smuggled liquor.
2. Foolish talk or ideas.
3. Light from the moon
This man shall lay an arm towards
The East, towards the rising sun
The timeworn sheet's unoccupied part
Half dreaming still, half seeking for
The warmth you leave when you leave in the morn

He was just a fool who loved the stars
He was a thief who had nothing but the dark.
There is nothing after sunrise, there is nothing after dawn.
You'll be gone in the morning like the moon he so adored.
I never liked poetry
until I wrote it.

I couldn't understand
why stanza's split up
into three or four or 12
lines.

Why a poet
writes rhymes of sadness as if
it's a better way to show it

I hated that everyone
thought they had the answers
to leading a better life
because they were the ones
who took the road
not taken.

But then, one day
I pressed a
pen to paper

And the words that
were once kept inside
flowed out like those rivers
that the poets kept talking about.

And the stanzas
separated themselves
into groups at parties
that all mingled together

while also standing alone.

My words became physical,
The tears I couldn't press
out of my eyes
were pressed on paper.

And the poem became
a song
and the song became
a new life form

And everyday I look
at what I have created
and

Smile.
White roses
She arrowed through
His unsuspecting heart
Bloomed gardens.
How can such pain cultivate a lovely garden?

A florist once told me about an unpopular symbolic meaning of white roses. She said they are flowers often given after you've done something wrong. A floral offering to ask for forgiveness.
As you pick your poison
Keep your composure
For we'll burn the bridges
    When we get there
    Don't worry
    You'll find yourself
In ruts again
But when that happens
You'll remember this poem
    And also that you're good enough
    Remember that when the lights go out
    Be tough, for you cannot beat yourself
Up
A note to self mixed up in cliché.
A funny grin was on her face
As she passed out to him
A contact writ in lipstick stain
A reckless drunken tale

Go fetch some water, Jack& Jill
Or I'd suggest you just
Go home it's downhill now from here
And you will miss the bus

Don't give in to destructive whims
To keep your hearts intact
No good love story starts with gin
And shots of double black
Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.
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