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I've been driving all night
With the headlights turned off
And I've got no sight of the road I'm on
I'm not trying to be edgy
I just wanna see what it feels like to walk straight into danger
I don't wanna die
I really don't
I just wanna know if pain tastes differently
If it isn't coming from inside of me
 May 2014 Elise
robin
the basement is full of smoke.
i'm hiding from my mother,
clutching a half-full pack a girl gave me before i left.
you are here like vapor.
like displaced sound, a crash from behind while i watch fireworks,
unnoticed sensation,
a spider on the neck while i brush my hair.you are always here,
the smell of nail polish after the red has dried.i can hardly remember how you
really were, how i really felt - you're a strange reaction,
waking up crying and feeling calm.you were not true to me;
true to yourself but never me {or maybe i never noticed,
angry that you changed.}
your memory lives in the nape of my neck,
pained and sore,
stiff after sleeping with my head bent in shame.you are perfume,
thirty bottles, thirty people you wanted to be,
thirty scents mixing and souring in my room.my own blood before i met you,
dry rust on paper, a spell i stopped believing in
before i could finish.
the stars undid themselves when i struck a match.
the moon embraced me when i prayed, and now
i burn my fingers on lighters
and try not to cry over
cold moons.
rituals were comfort.incense smoke,
quartz in the mouth.maybe i never truly believed but
meaning is appealing, solid,
warm weight to fill uncertainty's pit.maybe you were the same.you filled me,
made me feel meaningful, needed me.
sobbed as you tried to eat me alive, i cant blame you.
we all need something -
you need to be coddled.you need a thousand mothers
taking every blow for you.
i need to be idolized, worshiped, constantly assured that i am wanted
but not needed.
we're both selfish, we're both jealous.
monsters in human skins,
using each other and killing ourselves.
green-eyed and growling.
 May 2014 Elise
Alex Hedly
what's up?                                                      

                                                                                                                 I love you
          
no you don't        

                                                  ­                                                                 ­  yes I do
                                                              ­                I love you more than the stars
                                                           ­                         in the sky. I love you more
                                                                ­                than the drops in the ocean. I
                                                               ­               love you more than the words
                                                           ­                         in my favorite book. I love
                                                                ­                you more than the flowers in
                                                                ­                  a meadow. I love you more
                                                                ­                  than the hairs on my head. I
                                                                ­               love you more than the times
                                                           ­                         I've kissed you. I love you
                                                                ­                              more than the times I
                                                                ­                WANTED to kiss you. I love
                                                                ­                     you more than anything. I
                                                               ­                 have an endless love for you

                                                            ­                             Message Canceled

                                                    ­                                             you're right, I don't
 May 2014 Elise
Jade M Matelski
i cannot remember how many pills i took that night
or how many minutes it took for the ambulance to arrive
no, i cannot remember the details
most of it was a blur
rushing faces, bright lights, loud noises


but i remember your voice
and i remember it was the first time you told me you loved me
do you remember i tried to say it back?
or do you remember the details
did you memorize the seconds i was dead for?
or how long it took to bring me back?
darling, there used to be no difference between your fist and your face
but that night, i couldn't tell your tears from your mouth
 May 2014 Elise
Jade M Matelski
Red
 May 2014 Elise
Jade M Matelski
Red
she is self-destruction in a bottle. she
can make fire out of sweat,
feel thorns inside her bones, and
the importance of this is that, oh
baby, the river runs red. time to
kick the habit.

but she's a broken vessel, and she
still sees in black and white. so
her body is in overdrive.
fingers caress her ****** thighs
are you listening? because soon she's going
down. a dance with a devil.
her needle's clean, her tar is laced, and her
throat is sore-she has been drowning.

her parents never loved her. her
wrist became an answering machine. she
is cold- her fingers bruised.
traced the stretch marks on her hips she has never been
with. only this month did the
red turned to white.


and by the time she notices
she realizes it's too late and she
has already
made
a
line
on
the
mirror
 May 2014 Elise
marina
every wall of this house reminds me
of you-

reminds me that you are 591 miles
away, and i haven't heard from you
for seventeen days, and i am beginning
to worry

before you left we sat on the
couch and i asked you to promise
me you would stay alive.
when i held out my pinkie you couldn't
take it, and i always tried to make sure
you'd never see me cry, but i couldn't
stand the thought of living
around your ghost and i guess i just
                                                   lost it

there is a cold spot on the sofa and
i wonder if it is you
i wish i were brave enough to ask
 May 2014 Elise
Tom Leveille
kissing you was like swerving into oncoming traffic

i can never tell if i am more haunted by empty picture frames or the ashes of their contents

you taught me that the saying "pick your battles" meant not answering when love was at the door

sometimes when i drink whiskey i swear i can hear your voice in the creases of my bedsheets & i sleep on the floor

i still catch myself running my hands over things you touched the most, looking for the echoes of your fingertips

i practice things i'll never say to you

i remember the day you told me you didn't like poetry, how "everything's already been said" & how "nothing meaningful can be captured without being cliche" you know, i don't miss you like the sun and moon, i do not miss you like tide bent waves crashing on the shoreline, i miss you like a chernobyl  swingset misses children

rumor has it that drowning is a lot like coming home, that drinking bleach can **** the butterflies in your stomach

for your love of cigarettes, i would have been an ashtray

this halloween i want to dress up as the you when you loved yourself and show up on your doorstep

i never understood what you meant when you said i was an instrument, back when you would cup your hands around my chest and breathe through the holes in my heart, i still wonder if the sounds i made remind you of wind chimes

i never paid much attention to abandoned buildings until i became one

in my dreams all the flowers smell like your perfume

i am the only person who has ever wished for the same snowflake to fall twice

if i could go back, and rewrite the definition of audacity, it would be how when we lost the bet of love, you said "we never shook on it"

i love you, if the feeling is not mutual, please pretend this was a poem

the only apology i want from you, is to have you repeat the names of children we will never have in your parents living room until they *****

we are the same person if you find yourself up at 4am dry heaving promises, or if you are kept awake by the laughter of those who've abandoned you

nobody ever told you that goodbyes taste like the back of stamps

sometimes i'm convinced that the only reason we hug, is so you can check my back for exit wounds
 May 2014 Elise
Tom McCone
brush teeth with some resolve
i'm empty as always but
i'm convinced you might know
how to fix me, or at least
how to **** me. caught
word on some wind, out on the
highway, nothing matters. not
heartbreak, not mistakes. i
can't blame you for changing.

but if you are waiting, i
might alter my pace. this
could be the last first night
i feel this way, with no
means to celebrate or dissolve
into catastrophe. i'm so full
of empty so baby please
save me.                    

i can't do better but i can't
really promise i'll stay the same.
caught a bus up the one-way.
babe, all i saw was your face.
movin' out midwest or somewhere
else, just another mistake, just
another escape. doesn't matter
anyway. can't promise
things will be ok.

but maybe i could
love you, someday.
 May 2014 Elise
Marzanna
i am sexually attracted to pencils.
get this to trend
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