i cannot remember how many pills i took that night
or how many minutes it took for the ambulance to arrive
no, i cannot remember the details
most of it was a blur
rushing faces, bright lights, loud noises


but i remember your voice
and i remember it was the first time you told me you loved me
do you remember i tried to say it back?
or do you remember the details
did you memorize the seconds i was dead for?
or how long it took to bring me back?
darling, there used to be no difference between your fist and your face
but that night, i couldn't tell your tears from your mouth