When was it,
I wonder,
The last time
I felt like this.
When was the last time
I fell in love like this?
When was it last
That someone drove me crazy like this?
With just a smile,
With just a simple touch,
With just your presence,
My heart starts to race.
But I don’t really like it,
The way you so unknowingly
Hold my heart
And break it
Bit by bit.
With a smile on your face.
I hate feeling like this.
So powerless against my feelings,
Even more so
When it comes to yours.
I should be used to it already,
This kind of heartbreak.
In a way, I am.
Yet I’m again powerless
Against my own treacherous heart.

this is us.
we fight
we ****
we *****
we moan.
we cling to each other in our laughter,
we throw things at each other in our wrath.

this is us.
we love each other
and we hate each other.
we can’t take our eyes off each other, one moment,
can’t look each other in the eye, the next.

this is us.
this is how we are.
this is who we are.
this is how we roll.
and we love it.

so why change ?

You stretch your hand,
Begging for help,
For understanding,
For anything,
For that bit of something.
Outstretched fingers
Grabbing blindly at thin air.

You stretch your hand towards me,
But when I try to catch it,
Your fingers slip out of my grip
Like water…

~ 好き/嫌い ~


I love your smile.
     I hate it when it's not for me.  
I love your voice.
     I hate it when it's not addressing me.  
I love your eyes.
     I hate it when I can't see myself in them.  
I love your lips.
     I hate that I can't have their kiss.  
I love your hands.
     I hate how they'll never really touch me.  
I love your body.
     I hate how I'll never really feel its warmth.  
I...
I love you.


     I hate how you'll never love me back...

I miss your eyes
and I miss your voice
and I miss your kiss
and I miss your warmth.
I see you in my dreams
but it's not enough.

Nowhere near enough.

I catch glimpses of you
out of the corner of my eye
and I lose my breath
and my heart races again.

You're the shooting star
I never manage to wish upon.

I remember you today.
The time we spent together,
The fun we had,
The laughter we shared.
The happiness.

But also the pain you caused.
The tears I cried,
The loneliness,
The sadness,
How it hurt…

I wish I hadn’t remembered…

i’m looking for someone.
not just anyone though.
this person i’m searching for,
who knows how to make me cry tears of joy
and helps me laugh through my sadness,
has soft lips
and strong arms that can hold me down
or lift me high.

i’m searching for someone
who doesn’t make grand gestures,
expecting rewards in return,
but small, seemingly insignificant things
that warm my heart.

i’m searching for that someone
who is my friends first
and my lover second,
and we’d talk for hours on end
of nothing and everything
and all in between,
huddled together,
exchanging warm kisses.

i’m looking for that someone
who holds my hand
and gives me strength
and scolds me when i need it,
who’s mischievous and patient
and looks at me
and sees me
and loves me as i am.

. . . i am looking…
but will i ever find?

And I fly with wings made of dreams,
Riding on the winds of hope,
To a future of fulfilled wishes,
And everlasting happiness and love.

I‘m telling myself that I‘m not
in love with you
because you‘ve never made me cry
(though you have,
once,
just once, and I try to forget it ever happened
because it was stupid
and I was childishly jealous
for no reason).

It‘s so easy
to lie to myself, because
we only see each other once in a while.

But when I do see you, my heart races.
You smile at me and my knees buckle.
You hold my gaze and I can barely breathe.

I want to kiss you.
I want to be held in your arms and I want to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you.

My heart is broken
Beyond repair
But I still live
And I will continue to live
For days and months
And years.
My heart is broken
But I am not.

The world is ending.

You know it is,

When innocent souls die,

By the hundreds,

At the self-righteous hands of some.

.

The world is ending.

When the wants of the rich

Matter more

Than the needs of the poor.

.

The world is ending.

Nature turns against us.

But can you blame it,

When we’re destroying it,

Bit by bit?

When nowadays, to some,

Money means more

Than Mother Nature herself.

.

The world is ending.

And we cannot (will not) stop it.

.

And yet we wonder why.