To hope one day to seize the pain
Bury it down far and watch it decay,
But one day it’ll return and crawl up my leg
Dig under my skin, name it’s home where it fed.

Long gone but never forgotten you see
I can delve in deep, reanimate the feeling,
And I’m sorry it’ll never be the same again
But it was never my fault
I should’ve stayed in bed, not
Hurt myself
Pound on my chest
And put it back inside.

One time I felt like the world was mine
Like I could whisper to corpses, make them come alive,
Inside my belly I was turning over
Neither good not bad, an ecstatic lover.

Don’t put it back inside.

“To sync with me
Was never to be”,
You said in your head loudly
But not I’m free
I don’t want to be
My move was much more cowardly.

Long gone but never forgotten you see
I can delve in deep, reanimate the feeling,
And I’m sorry it’ll never be the same again
But it was never my fault
I should’ve stayed in bed, not
Hurt myself
Pound on my chest
Don’t leave it out
Put it back inside.

I can see cleary the scene where we first met
I feel the warmth of your smile
I hear the glee in your voice
I am entangled in the thought of you
And when I saw you walk towards me
I felt as if the heavens blessed me with an angel
And When I saw you walk past me, I knew I was only in your path.
I am entangled in the thought of you, and why I am unwanted.
I hear the silence in your void, your words are never for me.
I feel the darkeness settle over me again, where it always is.
I can see clearly the scene where we last met.
Discarded. Forgotten. Unwelcome. Me.

i don't
know you anymore; i

i am

pink sky,
     red-tipped flames
i cut the forest in
you.

orchestral
rows, fading
one by one
into higher and higher
blankness. it's an impossibility
that you'll look up there and meet
my eye. we're not starlight, after
all; you don't look at us with wonder.

silence
flows differently
than quiet —

she trickles
like a spring creek;
he tumbles
like warm sand.

'her' as whispered praxis:

her
stormy
hair

her
highland
shoulders

brush me in
wind.

your reply opens,
pale,

mine to darken.

but screenlight's not quite like starlight;

it's not enough to hold onto.
not enough to never let go.