My body shook
Before the alarm
Rose from the bed
Hung from the ceiling
And I looked at me
My terrifying ghastly expression
The sinister look in those eyes
The locked in shape of my body like a picture in a locket
Torn away from the mortal coil
The mortal strain the mortal stain
The immortal train take me away
Into the arms of the angels I go
Said my body but eyes were cold
I'm a piranha
A dead thing
A husk or a shell
A vessel for hell.
You left us in the sun
On a beach covered with snow
Frozen motionless waves
Bereft and the creasing stomachache glows
Stuck in a pool in the middle of us
Silent and stale in the heat
She isn't afraid of the lumps on her chest
And she isn't afraid to tell us this is it
Her hair started again on her head
But damaged under the fluorescent lights
If she's in the kitchen as the last time I saw her
The hell is in town and in the sights that I've seen
My mouth's burnt and sour and sore
And my skin is stretched into a smile
Sullen are my words and soft are my thoughts
So frail, so fraught, entirely on the ground.
I'm not going to say what I want because I do not know
Romance isn't the way to my heart
That's the thing that'll trap you in my grip and I'll never let go once it's there
So I won't say what I want because it's not good for you
Who you are anyway
Who are you everyday?
My heart is dead and gone
And strains to pull me for another
Too much blood pumping around these veins
It stings when I feel the signs of a flood.
Don't know if I'm becoming paranoid of it my tooth is coming loose,
But I can't seem to get a hold of my head and place a hand on my grief.
Don't know if I'm more sensitive now than I was before in time,
Or whether my heart has lost its gut which makes me send pics for free.
Don't know if I'm more open to life and to succumb to the pleasures of love,
But I have as sting in my stomach that pulls and hurts to strain.
Don't know if my doors are open and I welcome anyone inside,
Or whether I'm inviting my own demise into my frail mind.
We fight battles across the sea
And across time
Across land and above the sky
Crossing each other, resisting the signs.
One word killed me
You sent me on the wind
I sent myself back
I confess I was blind.
You on my shoulder,
Tell my parents that I love them
And if you go before me
Know that I love you too
But if mine comes to soon
It would be my own undoing
For you never loved me in words
Only in stolen feelings did we part.
A suicidal pact in my head
Only if we go at once
Would we ever be together
I'm sorry for your loss
You should tell your parents and brother
I did this to us.
I'm grateful for our eternal yearn
And sick with the child that never learns.
Like a mother
I'll eat myself into oblivion
Turn in on myself
Affect my bones and decay
Offered a smoke
I felt sick to someone so kind
I'm just body inside this shell
Just an alien trying to destroy its vessel
And the body
It does what it pleads
But I wish
Tells it to sleep later and later again
Since my bodied child as a conduit
He's still in there
He's a he
And he's scared.
Sorry I'll say no
Thinking it'll save me
So this one won't last long
I'll get rid of this one one day.
He cares the least about his traveller
Yet clings to it as if
"Will you save me eventually?
I don't think I will".
That's fine I understand
Say hello to them down there
Glasses, white socks home town.
And I died
This isn't a word for you
But to acknowledge myself bloom
My roots are in such dire need
Of plants I need you soon
There isn't a word for you
Only the pill that started the pills
You're the chemical in my brain
That sent me spiralling into the blue
And I came for you
Little death inside
But I didn't weep for you
I cry until I turn myself blind
Wishing for the simple things
Instincts to pull up the blinds
Cover my face inside
I want hell to help me decide
And I'll die for you
I'm with my parents and you ****** me
And I'll end for you
I'm a burden on Christ your life so free