When friends are talking down
When your girl's not around
When you feel all alone
Just wait for me
I'll come home

When your feet have lost their way
When the sky has closed its gates
When you feel all alone
Just call for me
I'll come home

I went to this meeting
(when I was a kid)
of hyenas;
and the ritual
consisted mainly of laughing
and they laughed and they laughed -
you know, and I just didn't get it

I demanded an explanation -
but no fellow-hyena could explain it

everybody laughs
nobody knows why;
and now I am an adult hyena
and I just laugh -  *it's something to do
with survival, I think

I hate school
because teacher Giraffe is always
picking on me
in his high and lofty manner
He's always pointing at me
with his prehensile tongue
and snorting: "Maybe you'd
like to stop laughing
and share your joke
with the rest of animal class?"

But I don't know no joke;
I just laugh

it's woman power here
in the clans of the spotted hyenas -
the women are bigger and the males fear;
fathers are kind to daughters
so at least the daughters will be nice to them

so women really just give orders
and the male hyenas obey
with mirth and laughter

Did you take the garbage out?
yeah, ha, ha, ha, yeah, yeah, yeah
Did you put the toilet seat cover down?
yeah, ha, ha, ha, yeah, yeah, yeah
Have you mopped the floor?
yeah, ha, ha, ha, yeah, yeah, yeah
Is dinner ready on the ground?
*yeah, ha, ha, ha, yeah, yeah, yeah

so King Lion
summoned us for a meeting
and King sat on his throne
and before he started
the King looked in my direction
and he roared:
"Hyena - don't you dare laugh;
here in Council what we deliberate over
is no laughing matter"

And I ****** in my pants
(in a manner of speaking)
and sat throughout the meeting
trembling in fear, as it seemed
to the King -
but also because I had to keep
my suppressed laughter
rocking in my tummy
throughout the meeting

Mike said
I'm the prettiest girl
he's ever met
so I let him
jump in

Carl made me
feel special
he said he'd never seen
anyone so pure
so in the back of his car
I let hm in

Rob said he'd rob
the world, go to jail
do anything I told him to do
so in the garden
I let him plant himself in

George wrote poetry;
he described my eyes
and my face and my walk
and he said he'd love me
forever, it was destiny brought
us together -
could he see more, please?
So I let him do everything
so he could make divine poetry

*Now I can't find any
of these guys
and they don't return my calls -
what happened
to their fine words and promises?

I got a hundred shoes
in pairs, of course
and a wardrobe fit for a Princess
I got the bed
carved with gold trimmings
from the best end of town;
and a range of the best wigs -
all human hair,
third world crop no doubt
but at first world cost for sure


that all took me into bad debt
credit card and all
so when debonair James
asked me to marry him
I grabbed him lips to lips -
now he's paying through his nose



MORAL of  TODAY'S POEM
so those of you guys
who are naive
you get caught;
those who are smart
you better use your head
before you put your knees on the floor