Her name is heaven,
Saint-like,
Yet she was wanted.
Her impurity shown with every comment,
Her façade being poked and prodded by myself.
Yet I had lost,
Not just myself,
But you.
Screaming into the chest of my coworker,
Saying you loved her.
What does your love mean?

It’s those days when you wake without notice,
Sweat dripping down the side of your face.
Sitting up and looking around,
You’re heart is racing and pounding against the rib cage.
A hand on your shoulder,
A soft whisper from behind.
But your back is against the wall.

When running to you,
everything is electric,
The sounds,
your touch,
the breeze.
As I run to you,
Without hesitation,
A sense of longing,
Safety,
Security.
While I run to you,
I remember how glad I was,
Happiness,
Loved.
Embraced by your arms of love,
And i remember once again,
How much I love running into you.

I used to look at you and see the universe light up in your eyes.
The glitter of a thousand worlds,
Captured in those brown eyes.
My world revolved around you,
As the Earth does around the Sun.
You held me your hands as if I was fragile seashell,
Yet your grasp was firm and demanding.
Voicing concerns always in vain,
You delt the cards I had to face.
What I had thought you gave was nothing to what I thought it was,
Love doesn’t endure such crazy madness.
I had made mistakes I cannot take back,
I **** myself for what is done and you see nothing.
Blind as the joke you say,
You never noticed yourself pull away.
Bleeding through hands and feet I held on for you to stay,
Hopping you’ll come back home to me.
The world doesn’t work as such and I’ve come to terms that your eyes held not of the universe and worlds,
But of those whose souls you stole and ate to only spit out.
You had my entire being regardless of flaws,
Now it’s time to continue with myself,
Alone is what was meant for me.

Succumbed to the weakness of you,
Tolerating what was then.
Personals never to brought upon,
Yet stuck to my skin like summer sweat.
One night,
One life,
One set to say goodbye.
Fake customers and heard in the deep,
I can’t run back no longer I could.
I played with the mental,
Still stood tall,
And I am still sticking to my memoir of you.
Life isn’t easy nor is it quaint.
I’ve loved both and one still stands.
To be in love is an act of weakness,
To let those who figure realize.
I’ve know what I did,
Nobody could compare to what was;
Least I know what I do.
Again starting back to what I knew

That Breath of air when swimming under the water too long,
That’s what life was.
Suffocating,
Undesirable,
A vast liquid of nothing.
That is till the burning in my lungs form,
Seizing at every attempt to breathe,
Struggling to find which way is up.
The frantic grasps of liquid,
Thighs and legs kicking rapidly,
As if all was lost the fresh breeze hits my hand.
I’ve made it,
All throughout the doubts,
Every tribulation has come to this.
Air.

Sometimes I wish you saw what I did,
Someone hidden so far in the dark,
Desperately trying to free yourself from it.
I see you,
I feel it when I caress your skin,
Even then I don’t need too feel when I sense it.
You truly don’t understand the depth of your hold,
How clutching its become,
Yet I want you with everything I do.
Whether we are around or not,
Fighting or finally being able to be in love,
It has been you for a whole year now.
Once upon a time,
It was what I had wished for,
Now that wish is gone.
Laying in the bed you no longer lie in,
Feeling your fingers sliding down my back and up toward my neck,
The kisses shared nothing but fireworks; always.
I will miss you always,
As I do to those who’ve stole my heart,
But you;
You’ve taken my entirety,
My mind,
Body,
And soul.
</3:C.R.R.