Honesty isn't hard to give,
I gave all of it,
Not wanting one moment to be ruined by me.
Yet here we stand,
Two different oppositions,
Two different types of trust,
No recollection of either.
One lost,
The other barely being found,
Our histories are different,
So why was it I.
Losing you kills me,
Even if you don't believe it,
But I also want you to be it.
Become the man I need,
I can wait,
I chose you to wait for.
Yet here I stand,
I am the liar,
I am the untrustworthy,
I was nothing.
A home to build,
A life with love from all sides,
But here we stand.
Apart.

I don’t NOT love you,
I just choose to separate myself from,
Who you are becoming with me.

So many things I want,
Being happy,
Being happy with someone I love.
Also,
Being happy with me.
I know what must be done,
Although I am not quiet ready for it,
I have to.
Anxiety ridden and masking,
I wish to be free,
But that all has to start with me.

You keep me sane,
Truly you do.
Collectively you speak to me,
And i am weak.
Like a sedative I cave into relaxation,
Knowing you are here brings me peace.
Sleeping peacefully,
Laughing,
I just need to enjoy the life.
Enjoy you.

One day your in love,
The next you’re trying to be okay,
Sometimes you have your bestfriend,
Other times you’re looking for them.
Reluctantly we all make our choices,
Our free will navigating our lives,
Thoughts processed for what will not ever be.
Guilt colliding with memories,
Losing what was had.
Forever in pain.

Reluctantly stubborn,
You come like a hurricane,
One small opening of purity and serenity.
We will never be compatible,
No longer will I be your friend,
So I sit in your shadows watching you grow.
One day you’ll see what I see,
Believe what I know,
We all see it.
You’ll perceive it how you will,
There isn't angst towards you,
Never will it ever be.

It’s weird,
The people we all talk to,
Eventually all become the strangers we never wanted.