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  Jul 2021 Juneau
I wonder whats making me feel this way
I cant quite getting high,
Finding ways to die
In a life
I cant ignite
Cant be the light
Flowing through the night
I don’t want to do whats right
Flying like a kite
This suit is pretty tight
Doesn’t feel quite right
I cant find my sight,

I wonder whats making me feel this way
I want to sleep through the day
Be spent away
Inking my skin grey
And i wish i can pray
I just might betray
I wish i can pray
I wish i can pray!
If god knows my body’s decay
He knows i still obey,
The laws written before today..

Though to some i sin
They stare and grin
But i cant bare this skin
And whats within
There is a pin
In a tin
Under my chin
And i can’t swallow it in
The thought that when
I breathe, i spin
To places i have never been
And the violence
Of my heart screaming like a violin.
i am in love with sadness
i am in love with your sadness
i recognize and know it
it is not dissimilar to my
own sorrow

while quietly sobbing
perform drunken newly learned alchemical rituals
in a desperate attempt to
set aright
madlove gone off the rails
with half-spells and muttered incantations

knowing the aura of
impending heartache
i stifle a sob into a
long one note high pitched
quiet wail
i am doomed

ill equipped to cast
my lot
ill advised to continue
i closed my leaking eyes
and held my arms up
in supplication
to a god i neither
believe in
nor believe would hear
if i believed

i remember the hour of my undoing
i remember the sadness
i feel today
from then
a touchstone to your sadness
the only stone I have

i would tie it to my
and jump into deep water
were i to think it would
hold me to the bottom

though no hero
nor courage do i know
in your sadness i found
a simple purpose
a certain failure
sadness my own

i remember your shy smile
and your hands
Juneau Jun 2021
Sometimes I think about the after-life and all of its absurdities
Life is just a flash of light between two eternities
There’s no hell below or heaven above
You’ve already experienced the void
So what are you so afraid of?
You experienced  eternity once before birth
Heaven is a place you need to make here on Earth

Sixty-eight maybe
June 29, 2021
Juneau Jun 2021
there is a growing storm
brewing on the inside
every day it rages away
it's getting harder to hide

this storm takes place
in all of my thoughts
brings with it confusion
sinister schemes and plots

how can i support myself
with all this heavy rain
building up on the inside
and messing with my brain

when it gets too much for me
all this gloom and doubt
i tip my head downward
so the rain can leak out
September 24, 2014

inspired by shel silverstien
Juneau Jul 2020
One column.
Two Sentences.
You choose the headline.
Deplatform and silence.
Coerce and align.

One month,
Two calamities.
Refresh and it's gone.
Nothing remains
in focus for long.

Digest the digests;
digests of every kind.
Fruitless echo-chambers
self-censoring the mind.

Theaters, Airplanes,
Public transit; Empty seats.
Next weekend two protests.
Let me hear you in the streets.

Gamma correct the pores
off the very face of life.
Featureless perfection.
Expression goes under the knife.

Flowers now grow upon flowers
instead of good rain and black loam.
Flowers feeding off fireworks;
Their roots' refusal to go home.

If I am to meet my fate
by my expressions in the past.
Let these words here written
be my very last:

Towards thee I roll.
Thou all-destroying but unconquering whale;
To the last, I grapple thee;
From hell's heart I stab at thee;
For hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.
With broken haul and tattered sail
torn to pieces while still chasing thee.
Sink forever into the violent sea.
Though my fate is now tied to thee.
Thou ****** and acursed whale!
Sixty-six maybe
July 26, 2020

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I stole some lines from Moby ****
And Fahrenheit 451
Juneau Jul 2020
A low crescent moon shining on a dark winter's night
In this forest there's a pond which gives the whole town a fright

This pond has a danger which all the townsfolk know
They have abandoned this whole area to the glamour of snow

The pond is leagues from here, further than a hectare
Upon this forsaken pond at night skates a glowing spectre

A figure all in shadow; in the blackness glowing white
Twirling and gliding in the darkness dancing all through-out the night

Dancing alone so gracefully and serene
Dancing for no-one with no desire to be seen

Her black and blue pond is lined with snowy trees
Blowing from her direction; a cool and ominous breeze

If you try to focus on her the image will surely shift
Her movements appear inhuman, rolling like a snow drift

Doubt your eyes for even a second and she will disappear into shadow
It will appear as if you saw nothing; as if she were sifting snow

For those who have caught sight of her a mere glimpse will not suffice
When she gazes back upon you, you will step out on that ice

I can't say what she'll do to you, although I assume you'll be drowned
I can't even say for certain if a body has ever been found

This may sound like an old wives tale, full to the brim with animosity
Just do yourself a favour my lad, and keep still your curiousity
January 13 2020

Inspired by Algernon Blackwood - The Glamour of Snow

For some reason this one is always invisible
Juneau Jan 2020
Our fixation with hand held machines
And replacing meals with soybeans
A spectator to arguments over vaccines
We're all underemployed and "getting-by" by other means
Living vicariously through our broken screens
Lobotomized and abused; nearly at-risk teens
Utterly lost in so many depression memes
Farmed and sent out from the Phillipines
Too desensitized to hear our own internal screams
January 2nd 2020
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