neverland soundgirl

neverland soundgirl Feb 2016

Dear Mother,

I had a nightmare about you last night.
You told me to come back home to the family, just for a day.
You smelled of ***** and depression and cigarettes.
You smelled of every reason that I left in the first place.

Dear Mother,

I dreamed of your screeching and your manic temper.
I told you to *******, to stop trying, to let me be happy....
And it felt good. Exhilarating.
But I knew it would be a lost cause in the real world.

I'm sorry, Mother, for abandoning the rest of the family when I left at 18.
But I'm not sorry for abandoning you.
I just wish you would let me be, now.
I'm tired of this.

Content Warning: implications of abuse and alcoholism.

#venting #nightmares

neverland soundgirl Jan 2015

the best time to write...

... is when you're deliriously tired, your eyelids heavy and hanging over your orbs like curtains containing the summertime heat.

... is when you've just met the one who lights your skin on fire with a single kiss and fills you with life unlike any other.

... is when you've finished your last drink and you're sitting alone in your bed wondering where your life will turn next.

... is when you're standing in the shower and all of the thoughts of the day come rushing to your brain like the heat of the water on your back.

... is when you feel you have nothing to say, and even your bones are hollow.

n.v.
jan. 27, 2014
♡ ☥ ☽ ☯ ☾ ☥ ♡

#love #short #life #sadness #tired #ramblings #illhueminati

neverland soundgirl Nov 2014

null

i have no motivation
no inspiration
no creation
nothing at all

something within me stirs
and i have to find a way to let it loose

but i have no motivation
no inspiration
no creation
nothing at all

it's killing me from the inside out
and *i don't think i can take it anymo--

n.v.
sept. 18, 2014
♡ ☥ ☽ ☯ ☾ ☥ ♡

#sad #depression #illhueminati #demotivated

neverland soundgirl Sep 2014

ephemera

i can't always tell you how i feel
yet you ask me anyway
but my voice is weak
and my words are choking me

i can't feel my fingertips
and truthfully
all i desire is a kiss from your lips
and your hands to warm mine once more

e·phem·er·a
əˈfem(ə)rə/
noun
things that exist or are used or enjoyed for only a short time.

n.v.
sept. 18, 2014
♡ ☥ ☽ ☯ ☾ ☥ ♡

#love #short #sadness #illhueminati #ephemera

neverland soundgirl Jun 2014

let me know when your heart is sad

let me know when your heart is sad
so that i may plant soft tender kisses
a c r o s s y o u r s k i n
in rows like tiny seeds
in hopes that you may feel
my love
my hope
my dedication
budding **u n d e r n e a t h y o u r s k i n

n.v.
june 06, 2014
♡ ☥ ☽ ☯ ☾ ☥ ♡

#love #short #illhueminati

neverland soundgirl May 2014

everything

i've wanted to be your everything
ever since we first laid eyes on each other
and in this moment, i feel i am,
your honey coloured irises
meeting my ocean blues,
the same warmth filling both.
as you gaze into my eyes,
we share the same thoughts,
of the love we make and the times we share,
and the fires we've started
in each other's young hearts.
in your arms, i'm a ****** again,
innocent and pure, full of promise,
and not tainted like my past has taught me.
you have my everything
just as i have yours.

n.v.
may 18, 2014
♡ ☥ ☽ ☯ ☾ ☥ ♡

#love #short #illhueminati