It was chaotic, the beating of my heart
At the bare, minimum, touch of your hand
I was at ease, and under attack
Resting my thoughts on your lap

Sometimes I suddenly wake
Scared, anxious, nervous
Flooded with memories
Of a familiar stranger
And the scariest part
is this image, of myself,
so vulnerable, so happy

next to him.

You  added colour to my mess
and me like a painting
you weren’t quite happy with
The egotistical artist in you
thought could paint over

I was ruined forever

Wild and twisted
The roots of your caring
Managed to stay in my heart.
I tried to **** them,
But they grew back

I want nothing to do with you
I am comfortable in the memories
safe, knowing I made it through
aware of the outcome
Dealing with the consequences
Of the bittersweet experience,
The terrible rollercoaster
Of your intermittent affection