dear adam,
you were my first love
i'm not sure if you loved me
as much as i loved you
but God did i love you
the world began with us
isn't that amazing?
even in the crevices of our  
makeshift beds weaved out
of lazy limbs and hazy intentions
even if i felt your heart didn't beat
for flesh such as mine
i loved you i loved you i love you
maybe i'm sorry i wasn't enough
but i know it wasn't me
i know you wished the world
didn't begin with a boy and a girl
being told to love
as if love was easy
i'm sorry i knew that maybe
you wished there was a choice
i knew that you wanted more than
soft sighs and long hair
maybe you wanted someone
who fit you the way your own gods told you
your own gods being your anatomy
your every nerve telling you
this isn't right
this isn't the natural order of things
i'm sorry i didn't pray hard enough
i was happy to have a part of you
even if that part included your dreams
of someone like you
of someone much different than i
we will never know now
and that's the saddest part
even when sacred texts chronicle us
as being an eternal pair
that brought paradise to flames
i do not regret following you into hell
i would bite into the universe
again and again and again
if it meant for the freedom
that came along with shame
if it meant that the world could be
what you wanted it to be
i would navigate every circle of hell
i would find every vision of the devil
if it meant you could love who you were meant to love
i love you adam
the world began with us
and maybe that's why the world is so scattered
two scattered souls don't make for a very good world
now our children run around loving and hurting
just as we did
but you lived a good life and you knew that
you were always the good one
i was always the one who wanted to be more
and you always forgave me for that
we were a strange love - you and i
so perhaps let us forgive ourselves
after all
we are only dirt breathed by God
we had no say in our genesis
that isn't going to change now
love and everything else,
eve