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  Jul 2015 Destanee Evans
aar505n
I couldn't find peace so I went out into the rain,
To find a way to stop the pain.
Let my brain unravel at the seems.
Flow away with the drops down the stream.
Little boat in the rain.
Float away, float away.
Sailing from me while I stay anchored with empty thoughts.
At peace -  but vacant.
I lay in my bed and think of you
I love you so much I don't know what to do
I feel your warmth at my side
The pain my heart moves to my eyes
So far away, yet so always so near
You are the reason I am still here


I wait at the times when we can talk
I wait at the time we can finally hold hands and walk
To feel you, for real, so close to me
The happiest person in the world is what you would make me

Your eyes shine like a million suns
You shine more brightly than anyone
Your smile so sweet, can't help but make me smile
It stops my world even for a little while
I wait at the times when my hand is in yours
To hear you say those three little words

There are still no words I can say to describe
My heart it aches and my eyes they cry
But when we talk my heart flies
You always wipe away the tears I cry

Even though you aren't here
And I miss you so much my dear
I'll love you forever and ever
I'll always love you my far away lover
  Jul 2015 Destanee Evans
Chris
~

Sometimes I cry,
yes, I do
when I think about what my life
was like without you

I would watch lovers stroll,
young and old, hand in hand
knowing it was always someone else,
I was somehow always left out

It hurt, I’m not going to lie, it did…
I found myself constantly wondering
what is wrong with me?
Why was I alone…

Seeing days of sunshine for others,
laughter ringing, joy on their faces
love matching their steps, as I sat
on a wooden bench staring out into the bay

Watching a single gull floating
lonely on the water,
following the never ending ripples,
silently conforming to whatever this is

And I would think, that is me,
just floating, vacant, empty, bobbing
waiting the next tide
to bring me back to start again

For so long I was this sea bird,
chasing lunch boxes
on a crowded summer beach only to
end up hungry at the end of the day

Dreaming of a day when I would have someone,
(though I came to doubt it would happen)
to fly with me, soaring our beach,
our shore, making it all worthwhile

A heart to share
these things that I kept locked
deep inside for fear
no one would care

And yes, I still cry
at these thoughts, though
far and few between now
and disappearing more each day

For I no longer fly alone
and the waiting was so well worth it
As my smile returns and I live
the life that had always been waiting for me

And I now know the answer
to what was wrong with me,
to why I was alone…

   *I hadn’t found you yet

— The End —