have you ever been so lucky
to find heaven so close to you?
to see your dreams in the works?
i think i'm one of the few.

if being a slave means serving my salvation,
i would happily die not seeing how my fairytale would end.
i would not let myself go to the ball and dance with the prince who's supposed to be my ending.
i would choose you.

i would choose you, my tragic, tragic you.
my sad story, my death, my tears.

if being a slave means serving my salvation,
i would.
i would always.

steady hands, ready hands
unplanned affection, genuine emotion
witnessed by colored noises
and ignorant minds, curious eyes

was i too good?
to be kissed by a saint, by an angel
whose wings were clipped, were drowned
in a sea of lullabies

in the most appropriate place
in The Most Appropriate Place
i sunk in my seat
i grew in the heat
of the moment
i saw grace
in the moment
i held grace itself.

I wanted
To cry out
To you...
But
I can't be
That girl
That cries out
Only for
A morsel
Of your
Attention.
I want to be
So much more
Than that.
I want to be
The girl
That
You hear
In the
S I L E N C E
and already
Know
She's there.

i tried to love you
but i just felt like giving up
delicate fingers
bare skin
and wet kisses
couldn't fix the scars
i had once.
just stop, honey
and sit still
for now

let go of me
i think i want to
take control
this time around.
i am my own wheel
in my own unicycle
tonight.

every thought of you
is
a pound on the chest,
a lump on the throat,
and
a stirring confusion on the mind.
i don’t want
to think of you
nor
think of you
or even
think of you
let alone
think of you.
but when asked
how i’m doing,
being fine
isn’t a
******* option.