I've memorized your face a thousand times

and yet it's still not enough for me

Thank you for being there

when I fell

or when I swore I was done

when I cursed my own name

when I told you to leave me alone

when I wanted to leave home

when I formed scars on my wrist

when I made the wrong decision

But

thank you for being there

when I picked myself back up

when I said maybe I'll go on

when I praised the new day

when I begged you to stay

when I let the lines of hurt heal

even when I had said it's no big deal

thank you

for not letting me be

Funny how things change

that's all.

Maybe you'll realize
when your home crying so hard you can't breath

when your in bed staring at the ceiling not able to speak

when your higher than the eiffle tower and that's still not enough

when you miss a week of school and no one cares

when you don't get invited anywhere

when no one understands you but me

when your too drunk to even form a sentence

when he leaves you again without words to make yourself carry on

when your stuck between missing him and hating him

when you're left with no one to run to

Maybe then you'll realize

you would've had me

And here we are
seconds pass without bringing a new thought

Dwelling on the past
as if it became part of us
part of our being

We're only getting older
each day bringing new life
and new strife

We're only getting wiser
learning from the boy who broke us
growing from the friends who make us

There was a time
when I was numb
I was numb to myself
numb to my world
numb to my surroundings

Memories flash like an eclipse
across my glossy eyes
Perfume floods my nose
reminding me of when I could feel
and wasn't numb

The music lingers in my mind
replaying it's tones softly yet stinging
Each word having it's own meaning
causing a tsunami of feelings

I think of you
your touch
your smile
your warmth
your words

You rescued me when I didn't know I was to be rescued
You showed me how to save my myself
from my own being

I think of you again
mysterious
welcoming
yet; distant

I think of you and I
laughing
talking
simply together

I think of a certain day
the day resonating in my brain
the events pounding into my skull
and I think..
yes
this was the day you showed me
what it is to feel
and not to be numb

It's you that I'd die to defend
it's you that won't let me in
it's you that turned me away
it's you who I can't betray

tell me why you avoid
your feelings and worries
tell me why you cried
when I asked you what's wrong
and please, tell me why
this is goodbye