There is a spectrum I am now part of
That I do not fully understand
An authority on the whole thing
Rubber stamped it, and ****!
Now I'm on the spectrum

There is a spectrum I am wanting to be
That I wish to God I could stay in
The place where creativity and high intelligence
Meet and mesh and produce with no end

But the spectrum is long and slow at the end
And high and fast at the beginning
And I am merely stuck somewhere in the middle
Always wondering and panicking about where

when I was a kid
I used to turn words over and over in my head
until they became unfamiliar
one of them was paradise
p a r a d i s e
a
r
a
d
i
s
e
pppppppppppppppppp
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaa
ddddddddddddddddd
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ss­sssssssssssssssssssssss
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Bury me head first
So everyone will have to stand on my ***

speak to me

in indo-european

make love to me

with the kama sutra

burn me

with the greek fire

break down my walls

with the trebuchet

pierce my soul

with the pistol

Will I ever find home?
I seek the shelter of not just a house
but a sense of place
where I can find a purpose

Will I ever find home?
I thought I did once
but it was only an empty room
filled with cheap thrills and long nights at bars

Will I ever find home?

Two cypress trees stand bare together
in the Atchafalaya

Midway between Aurora
And tomorrow

Or maybe just more casualties
To the brackish tide?

Regret.
What should I tell you?

Should I say I can embrace you?
But we're stuck in this now.
******, let go!
Now I feel like crap.

Should I tell you to *******?
But no, I need you!
Please come back!
*******, now I want to let go again!

I still feel like crap.